Widower struggles with child

Dear Abby: I’m 35 and have been a widower for almost five years. I began dating about two years ago.

In my adventures of dating I have encountered a lot of divorced moms. I met someone very special (I’ll call her Rose) a year and a half ago. She’s great. We share lots of laughs and goals, but she’s constantly showing me Facebook memories/photos of her daughter when she was young.

I never got the chance to have children and rarely bring up my past because I feel that’s behind me. Rose’s ex is “toxic,” according to her, and from what I’ve witnessed, he’s pretty bad.

I see her daughter two weeks out of the month. The girl is very spoiled and entitled.

I can’t relate, and I don’t care for her daughter. Does that make me a jerk? I feel those old photos of her daughter are really her memories with her ex, and it would be just as bad if I showed photos of my late wife and asked, “Isn’t she beautiful?” Am I wrong?

– Unparent Out West

Dear Unparent: If you plan to continue a relationship with Rose, you are going to have to deal with your feelings about her daughter. The quickest way to work this through would be couples counseling.

If your description of the girl is accurate, then realize that as long as she’s a minor, she household.

Dear Abby: “Ron,” the guy my best friend, “Stella,” is seeing, is a manipulator. My mother was a pro at manipulating and gaslighting, something I recognized after going to therapy as an adult. I know it when I see it.

A month ago, I told Stella what I have observed, and it has escalated to the point that I told her I no longer want to be around him. Ron, who is 40, throws tantrums and threatens to leave when he doesn’t get what he wants.

The last time I saw him was at a dinner Stella hosted. I left early after he threw another tantrum. Ron texted me an “apology” that did not address his behavior that night, but something else that happened a week ago. He then tried to guilt-trip me by saying my walking out hurt our friends and that he would stop hanging around because he didn’t want them to be hurt like that.

Must I accept his apology so everything goes back to how it was, or not see my friend until he is out of her life?

– Not a Fan of Him

Dear Not A Fan: You don’t “have” to accept Ron’s apology any more than you have to accept any other unappetizing “gift” that is offered. But don’t stop seeing Stella. From what you have written, she needs a levelheaded friend right now.

will be a presence in your