We’re only as divided as we choose to be
It isn’t healthy for our democracy or society if we don’t open our ears and hearts
The 2020 election finds the United States teetering past partisanship toward complete polarization. It can feel hopeless. But now that Americans’ votes have been cast, how do we move forward? How do we find civility? Common ground? Unity? Sanity?
The answers aren’t easy. Tuesday capped the election season, but, as I write this, we still don’t know whether former Vice President Joe Biden will be ushered into the White House come January, or whether President Donald Trump will retain office.
For months, we’ve settled into such fierce discourse it seems few people are willing to even hear from those who have disparate ideologies. In many ways, we’ve closed our ears and our hearts. But we can’t remain in this space; it’s not healthy for our society or our democracy.
Politicians lead by example, for better and worse. But coming together after the election isn’t just a responsibility for the winning and losing candidates. It’s up to all of us.
Your Turn Suzette Hackney Guest columnist
“I think it’s quite possible to become more united and demonstrably so,” says Ken Abraham, a former deputy attorney general from Dover, Delaware, who supports Biden. “Some of my friends – they’re still friends of mine. I’m smart enough to not let politics interfere with real friendship, but some of them are Trump supporters and, man, it’s just hard to understand. But we have to forget past transgressions and move forward with an eye toward the future, what’s best for the country.”
The hostility among Americans is palpable. I struggle with how far we’ve fallen in American culture – how we treat each other, how we’ve allowed our shared values to deteriorate. What do we want our country to be? What do we stand for? How do we want to be remembered?
The fundamental division in our country seems to be between people who are comfortable with the changing face of America and those who are fearful of losing status. A June More in Common poll shows that 82% of Americans say the nation as a whole is more divided than united. And with every negative interaction, with every ugly altercation about immigration, racial injustice or COVID-19, we are sending a message: America is broken.
Hard to talk about healing
Meshawn Maddock, co-founder of the Michigan Conservative Coalition and a leader of Women for Trump there, finds it difficult to talk about healing. Instead, she lists the transgressions against her family: The Oakland County residents nailed a Trump sign to their front-yard tree three years ago. Somebody drove by and threw yellow paint on it.
This year, they nailed a Trump 2020 sign and an American flag below the original sign. Somebody spray-painted an expletive on the Trump sign and blacked out the flag. A stranger then nailed a handmade, backlit, glass-covered Trump 2020 sign to their tree. Within a week, somebody came with a baseball bat and smashed it. A giant blue ribbon wrapped around a tree to show support from law enforcement also was vandalized with spray paint, she said.
“We left everything up there because we felt it made a better statement about the world we’re living in than taking it down,” Maddock told me this week. “Just because we support Trump, we’re being attacked.”
I pushed back a bit, questioning whether Maddock and her husband, state Rep. Matt Maddock, could have been targeted because of their vocal activism. After all, they founded the Michigan Conservative Coalition and organized a massive demonstration at the Capitol to protest the stay-at-home order that Gov. Gretchen Whitmer implemented to fight coronavirus spread.
“You’re right,” she said. “We’re probably not your average Trump supporter. But we hear all the time of things like this happening in people’s yards and houses.”
I kept digging for answers. I stressed that nothing will be accomplished if we can’t even have a civil discussion with
each other. I wanted to hear from an outspoken Trump champion why her perspective was so pessimistic, even dark.
Maddock acknowledged that she didn’t see a path to unity as a country, instead describing what Democrats want as “submission.” But as we talked – and listened to each other – she softened.
“I’d like to think that my fellow Republicans are open to hearing both sides and to a discussion,” she said. “One by one, it’s easier to talk to people.”
Filled with anxiety
Six hundred miles to the east, Emily Golden, a newly minted graduate of George Washington University’s Elliott School of International Affairs, lay awake every night this summer monitoring her cellphone, rapt by the footage of the social unrest and protests playing out in cities across America.
Golden, 22, who had returned home to New York City because of the coronavirus pandemic, said she felt powerless, filled with anxiety and uncertainty about her country. Things have only gotten worse: COVID-19 continues to ravage and kill; the economy has tanked; millions have lost their jobs and are losing their homes; wildfires have scorched a large swath of the landscape; and one of the most contentious presidential elections in American history has exacerbated an already deep gulf among us.
“Not to be dramatic, but I felt I would be in bed every single night looking at this little electronic rectangle, watching society fall apart,” Golden told me this week. “It was such a helpless feeling. And these are such complex, systemic issues. How could one person do anything about that? I felt like I couldn’t make a difference and it’s hopeless forever.”
Golden decided to spend Election Day at a polling place at a junior high school on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. She served as a greeter, checking in people before they voted.
“Working the polls and trying to get this administration out was very important to me,” she said. “The system is made up of individuals, and I can be one of those individuals that helps change something. I can finally say I’m doing something instead of feeling like I can’t do anything.”
A common enemy
Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. John Fetterman has an answer for bringing Americans together: Unite around a common enemy, the coronavirus. Instead of fighting each other, Fetterman said, we should be laser focused on eradicating the virus, not arguing about mask wearing, social distancing or the validity of any future vaccine.
“It’s a virus – it’s not going to respond to politics,” Fetterman told me. “We could get angry at this virus and what it’s done in terms of taking what will be 300,000 lives and trillions of our dollars. I just think there’s some political issues that we’re never really going to agree on but we’ve got to get back to this. Fighting the virus is our training wheels, and then if we master that, we can take those off and try to be more unified on these other things.”
In our echo chambers
I’ve never watched more cable news than I have in the past eight months. Mostly this is because I’ve been working from home since March, and I usually have the television on in the background. I’ve been struck by how partisan the broadcast landscape is.
Fox News’ Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity adore Trump every bit as much as CNN’s Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo abhor him. As I observe, I can’t help but think that cable news is the epitome of an echo chamber.
I attempt to “both sides” my viewing, but I find it impossible to believe that most typical Americans are doing the same. If you’re watching Fox News, particularly in prime time, you’re probably doing so because you align with that network’s conservative news commentary. No needle is being moved. No minds are being changed. Demonization of opponents is part of the business model.
Social media aren’t much better. Most people joined social media platforms to engage with family and friends, to follow things and people that interested them, maybe even to share baby and pet pictures. Today, Facebook and Twitter can only be described as a dumpster fire. The name calling and open insults are appalling.
Americans have to find a way to pivot
from the noise that surrounds us, said Rene Elsbury, a licensed social worker for Families First, an Indianapolisbased organization that provides mental health services. When thinking about the polarization we have seen during the political process, we’ve lost sight of American values of public health and social justice. Those important issues have devolved to picking a side – red or blue, she said.
“A screen makes an argument so much less personal,” Elsbury said. “If we’re arguing into our phone, our laptop or tablet, we disconnect the humanity that is on the other side. And we’re all humans. We all have opinions. We all disagree. A political viewpoint is one aspect of a human being. So can we find the good in others? Can we find the good that can outweigh the bad?”
We are resilient
Calvin Malone, 57, has spent weeks in his barber shop in Franklin, Tennessee, talking politics with his customers – the few customers he still has. Malone, who has been in business for 30 years, said the coronavirus has left many without jobs. Those who used to get weekly haircuts now pay him a visit maybe every month. He describes this time in America as “the worst I’ve ever seen it.” His answer to combating the political agitation and public anxiety: prayer.
“We’re going to need some Jesus on both sides – that’s the only way I can see it,” Malone told me. “A whole bunch of people are going to be mad if Trump is in. A whole bunch of people are going to be mad if Biden is in. We are just going to have to ask the Lord to give us an understanding mind. We are going to need people to soften their hearts and ask for a clear understanding.”
Whether we look to spiritual guidance or tangible outcomes, we can and should do better. We are resilient. We are capable of showing respect and empathy. America, moving forward, we’re only as divided as we choose to be. It won’t be easy to unite and heal, but when that final vote is counted, that’s precisely what we must do.