Gift of cookies is more curse

Dear Abby: Every year for the last 15 years or so, my husband’s sister has sent us a huge box of homemade cookies for Christmas. My husband is from a large family, and she does this for each family. I know it involves a great deal of time and effort on her part, and she sends them via priority mail, which means an additional expense.

The problem is, we don’t eat cookies. Weight is a concern for both of us, and I avoid sugar or sugar products as I don’t believe they are healthy.

Many years ago, I asked my motherin-law what to do so as to not cause hard feelings. She advised, “Don’t say anything; she needs something to keep her busy.”

My SIL suffers from mild depression, and everyone tiptoes lightly around the issue to avoid upsetting her.

No one on that side of the family has ever said anything, and perhaps, many of them enjoy the cookies. Evidently even a carefully worded “thank you, but we can’t consume them” note would cause family problems. I tried not sending an acknowledgment; the cookies kept coming. What’s your suggestion? – Sweet Problem in Connecticut Dear Sweet Problem: I suggest you keep things the way they are. Your sister-in-law needs something to occupy her mind and give her a sense of purpose. Those cookies might be appreciated by a church group, a residence for seniors or even holiday gifts for your neighbors if you repackage them.

Dear Abby: My 22-year-old daughter asked if her 23-year-old best friend could stay with us for six months. Her friend’s parents had to return to Europe to finish wrapping up some things and then would return for their citizenship appointments, so we agreed to the arrangement. Rent-free, because we are nice.

My daughter got a school offer in Houston and moved there in May. Now it’s just her best friend and us at the house. Well, COVID-19 happened, and the parents are banned from entering the U.S. They have asked us if she can stay until the ban is lifted.

I miss my personal space, and I need her to move out. I feel she has overstayed. But I don’t know how to approach her or her family and say this arrangement will end soon.

– Crowded in The South

Dear Crowded: You have been more than generous to your daughter’s best friend, and I hope your generosity has been appreciated not only by her but also her parents. She is an adult, and she needs to be told the arrangement she had with you is coming to an end. Set a date and notify her parents.