Son hasty to sign up to be father

Dear Abby: My 25-year-old son has been dating a girl for two or three months. She seems very nice. She has two children and is pregnant with her third child. She’s due in three months. The child is not my son’s.

I was told by some friends of my son that he’s planning to sign the birth certificate as the father. He understands the implications. How do I convince him that, although he feels like he and this girl will be together for the long haul, this is a poor decision to make, especially because of the short length of time they have been dating?

– Too Much, Too Soon

Dear Too Much, Too Soon: Although it can be difficult to convince someone in the throes of new love, you and your son’s friends should urge him to discuss this with a lawyer before signing ANYTHING. He needs input from someone who is not emotionally involved and can explain the legal ramifications of what he’s considering. Not all romances have storybook endings, but if this relationship leads to marriage in the future, he can always adopt or provide financially for the child if he wishes. I sincerely hope you and the others who care about him can get through to your son.

Dear Abby: My daughter and I have a wonderful relationship. But I am very upset because she listens in on the speaker phone to every conversation I have with my 11-year-old grandson. I really believe we should have privacy, and I think it’s strange that she does this. Is she justified, since she knows I’m disturbed by speakerphones in general?

– Concerned Nana in the East

Dear Concerned: You wrote that you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. Have you asked her why she feels monitoring your calls to your grandson is justified? From my perspective, her behavior may be hypervigilant, but whether it is justified isn’t a question that someone who isn’t familiar with your family dynamics can answer.