Mom can’t reconcile son’s affair

Dear Abby: My son had a yearlong affair with his wife’s best friend, which started when the two families took vacations together. My husband and I have always been close to our daughterin-law and our grandchildren, ages 6 and 10, as well as our son. The divorces are final now, and the lovers are married.

Abby, we can’t stand the new wife. We abhor the deceit, the betrayal and the pain she and our son have caused. Now he is demanding that we accept her. I can’t bear the thought of her and our grandchildren’s inheritance going to the new wife. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?

– Mother of A Cheater

Dear Mother: Depending upon the child custody arrangement between your son and his ex-wife, you may not have to spend much time with the happy newlyweds. Because you love your former daughter-in-law, see her as often as you wish and include her in celebrations. Refrain from acting out in anger. Say nothing you might later regret.

As to what happens to your estate in the event of your and your husband’s death, this is a discussion you should have with your lawyer. You are under no obligation to reward your son and the new Mrs.

Dear Abby: After living with my husband’s gradual hearing loss for several years and his refusal to get hearing aids, I finally asked him to get them as a birthday gift to me. He agreed, and I expected that he would wear them once he got them. When he does, it greatly improves his hearing. But he seldom wears them when he’s at home with me.

I brought it up again recently, referencing the stay-at-home order, but he still wears them only occasionally. I feel disrespected because he isn’t willing to do this small thing to make both our lives easier during this period of confinement. How do you suggest I explain this to him so he “hears” me?

– Still Frustrated in California

Dear Still Frustrated: This may not be a matter of your husband “tuning you out.” Have you asked him WHY he doesn’t wear the hearing aids? Could it be they are uncomfortable and need adjusting? Is inserting the batteries difficult because they are so tiny? Once you know why he is resistant, you can consult the doctor who prescribed the devices.