If you’re a woman, you’ve heard this word before

I’m going to use a word, one some of you may find offensive, and I’ll probably use it several times, so be prepared. But if you’re a woman and anything like me, you’ve heard it plenty of times before.

In fact, ask any woman if someone’s called her that, and she’ll say, “You mean ever, or how many times?”

The word is “bitch.”

One man used it, preceded by “crazy,” when I told him to step away from me on the light rail. (He had grabbed my behind.) Another man called me the same thing when I turned him down for a date. I see it in emails from readers.

I’ve learned people typically use the word when women exert power, confidence or success. They say it to women they can’t push around or shut up. They use it when they don’t have an intelligent rebuttal or counterargument.

When I wrote about Joe and Jill Biden moving into the White House with two

German shepherds, someone wrote, “You forgot — actually there are 3 dogs,” referring to Jill Biden with that word. “No wonder you write about dogs,” someone wrote in another email, and then called me the word.

So clever.

Feminist Gloria Steinem said it took her years to learn what to do when someone called her a bitch: Smile and say, “Thank you!”

Some women have reclaimed the word, redefined it (Being In Total Control, Honey) and used it.

In a 2008 “Saturday Night Live” skit, comedians Tina Fey and Amy Poehler discussed how often the word was applied to Hillary Clinton, who was running for president.

“Yeah, she is. And so am I,” Fey said in the skit. “You know what? Bitches get stuff done.”

But for all of that, it still startles me when it’s hurled as an insult. My thoughts go to these men’s mothers, wives and daughters.

It’s a word meant to provoke. I don’t let it.