CAROLYN HAX

Dear Carolyn: I am directly responsible for three at-risk family members: my husband, a 90-year-old aunt who does not live with us and a nearby cousin. For the past year I’ve been the outside person who accompanied them to medical appointments, went shopping for them, etc. We’ve all been very careful and fortunately no one has gotten sick.

But now I have family members asking when “I will allow them to visit” all three. The aunt has told me she wants no visitors until everyone is vaccinated. The cousin also wants no visitors yet and my husband agrees. But somehow, I’ve been cast as the gatekeeper. Any snappy replies? I have said, “It is up to X,” or, “Please ask X,” but no one is listening.

– Gatekeeper

Gatekeeper: “It’s up to X.” Perfect answer.

If they keep not listening, then for their stubbornness they will be rewarded with yours: “It’s up to X”unsnappily stated and restated, verbatim, for all eternity. Or until they figure it out, whichever comes first.

If that’s unbearable, then add, once, “Please stop asking,” and don’t answer anymore after that.

Yay for you for holding everything together for your high-risk group. I suspect we won’t ever fully grasp the volume of heroics and micro-heroics pushing us through this crisis, but I’m grateful to learn of yours.

Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at washingtonpost.com.