Sure, pay for a survey, but I could have told you that

I clicked open the email with the subject line, “1 in 10 Arizonan women over 50 admit to drinking more now than they did in their 20s and 30s, reveals poll.”

If we’d known what was coming, I thought, smirking, we’d have been drinking more back then.

Over the course of a week, I get dozens of press releases about surveys like that one of 3,160 women older than 50 from Recovery.org, which provides treatment options.

I call them, I-could-have-told-youthat surveys (and saved the people behind them a lot of work).

The same was true of the press release, “1 in 3 Arizonans deem alcohol an ‘essential product’ during the pandemic, reveals survey.”

Given the choice between buying alcohol or toilet paper, 25 percent of the 3,000 people older than 21 surveyed by American Addiction Centers, a network of rehabilitation facilities, said they’d opt for alcohol.

Amen. (Clearly, the other 75 percent need to get their priorities sorted.)

Another survey, this one from Harvard Business School Online, found just 18 percent of nearly 1,500 professionals surveyed who worked remotely in the last year want to go back to the office.

Not surprisingly, the people most eager to spend time in their cubicles are married or are parents with kids at home. The other 81 percent prefer to keep working at home or going into the office a few days a week.

I get that. I’m much more productive at home, where there are fewer distractions. No commute means I get right to work in the morning, comfortably and in yoga pants.

Yet another press release touted a survey of 700 parents from Move.org, which found 39 percent of moms and dads felt guilty for putting their child in daycare.

Look, parents feel guilty about everything. The time we spend at work. Not buying all organic produce. Too much screen time. Giving in too easily. Yelling too much.

I could have told you that.