Female workers prefer to maintain professionalism

Dear Abby: My co-workers and I want to know how to handle customers who ask us out. We are an all-female staff at a liquor store, and our job is kind of like being a bartender without pouring drinks. Our customers are happy to see us after a long day at work and sometimes misinterpret our excellent customer service skills as flirting and ask us out.

It is sometimes a very uncomfortable situation because we are paid to be kind and don’t know how to say no without causing a loss of business for our company or possibly putting ourselves in a dangerous situation. Can you give us some guidance on how to delicately handle these moments?

– On the Job in Missouri

Dear on the Job: A polite turndown to the invitation would be, “Thank you for the compliment, but I never date a customer. It’s against the rules.”

Dear Abby: I have a longtime friend who is an amazing person. He has almost every positive attribute anyone could want – he’s smart, hardworking, successful, strong and athletic, fit and attractive, generous, witty, etc.

His only flaw is a big one. He lacks empathy and is sometimes very insensitive. Over the years, on a number of occasions, he has said or done things that left me feeling humiliated. He doesn’t seem to understand that it isn’t how generous you were to them, people remember how you make them FEEL.

He has few real friends who can tolerate him, and some have walked out of his life. I’m on the verge of doing the same thing. How can I get him to change his behavior before it is too late?

– Humiliated in Albuquerque

Dear Humiliated: Point out to this person that, more than once, he has said or done things that made you feel humiliated. While you’re at it, mention that this unpleasant trait is what has caused “Tom,” “Dick,” “Harry,” “Sleepy” and “Grumpy” to walk out of his life. Then tell him you no longer intend to allow it to happen to you, and if it happens again, you will join the others.