DAILY BRIDGE CLUB

Cy the Cynic habitually dates three or more different women every week, but his social life seems to have regressed.

“I’m getting about as much action as a white crayon,” Cy complained to me in the club lounge.

“What about the woman with the pet parrot?”

“We parted ways,” the Cynic said. “The crazy thing wouldn’t stop talking. I’ll admit, though, that the parrot was kinda cool.”

At least Cy’s action is still hot at the bridge table. He was today’s South, and East-West took advantage of the vulnerability to preempt the auction. North reacted by leaping to a slam, and Cy, who had opened on a three-card club suit, passed stoically.

A grand slam would have had a chance, but after the bidding, which portended bad breaks, six clubs was high enough. When West led his singleton jack of diamonds, Cy won with the king and immediately returned a diamond. West couldn’t gain by ruffing a loser. He threw a spade, and dummy’s ace won.

Cy then ruffed a diamond with the ace of trumps to avoid an overruff. He next took the queen, jack and king, but when East showed out, Cy’s action went sour: West got a trump trick and East got a diamond. Down one.

Cy chucked 1,470 points. He must ruff the third diamond with the five of trumps. West can overruff, but Cy can later ruff a diamond with the ace. He wins five trumps in dummy, four spades, two diamonds and a diamond ruff.