Football, unity go together, QB says

We take time out from our usual sports zaniness for this public-service announcement.

“One of the best things about playing football is that you’ve got guys from different cultures, different races, different parts of the country and guys that see the world differently,” Washington State QB Luke Falk told ESPN.com. “But if you don’t put those differences aside, come together as a team and sacrifice for each other, you’re not going to be successful. I hope our country can learn that same lesson.”

We now return you to our regular programming.

Now he’s a tough guy

Now that’s what you call a cut above.

Matt Calvert scored the winning goal recently for the NHL’s Columbus Blue Jackets in the third period — after taking 30 stitches to his forehead the period before.

Calvert had taken a slap shot to the noggin, causing the damage.

Check, please

The Cubs will foot the $388,000 bill to repair damage to the fencing and grass at Grant Park incurred during the team’s World Series celebration. And the Mets thought the backfilling tab for Bartolo Colon’s slide into second was excessive.

Talko time

Spotted on a sign during last week’s “College GameDay” telecast on ESPN: “My wife thinks I’m Christmas shopping.”

Paging Moises Alou

President Obama wants the World Series champion Cubs to pay a White House visit before his stay in office is up.

So what does he do for an encore, pardon Steve Bartman?

Making the cut

Unbeknownst to the other, golfer Phil Mickelson (sports hernia) and his caddie of 20 years, Jim “Bones” Mackay (double knee replacement), both wound up in surgery Oct. 19, Golf Digest reported. Not surprisingly, both offered the same advice for their surgeons: “Replace your divot!”

Mouth full

Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky has lent his voice to “The Simpsons” for a “heroes of winter” episode set to air Dec. 11. Puck pundits were shocked — to see that Gretzky boasts more teeth than Homer.

Quote marks

■ Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, on rumors that Oregon sugar daddy Phil Knight is offering $10 million annually for a new football coach: “At that price, they should hire Denzel Washington and really get something done.”

■ Mike Bianchi of The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, after Houston ravaged thirdranked Louisville 36-10: “The last time Bobby Petrino took a tumble like that, he had a hot blonde on the back of his Harley.”

Stat of the Week

Only nine of the 5,610 home runs hit in the majors this past season — 0.2 percent — were inside-the-park jobs.

Name game

The latest minor league baseball team to come up with a zany new mascot: the Fond du Lac (Wis.) Dock Spiders. On the plus side, they ought to be quite proficient at catching flies.