Return trip for Duke’s Grayson

Serial tripper Grayson Allen finally announced his decision: He’ll return for his senior season at Duke rather than leave early for the NBA.

Apparently he’d been kicking it around for weeks.

Student aid

Former NFL agent Terry Watson pleaded guilty to giving cash to three former North Carolina football players.

In keeping with tradition, they had tutors take it for them.

Golf update

This just in: Tiger Woods won’t play in a major again this year, but his surgeon just made another cut.

Bo jest

Michigan fans Gregg and Lani Fettig named their fourth son Harbaugh.

What, you were expecting Schembechler or Oosterbaan, perhaps?

Net Gain Dept.

Tennis star Serena Williams is expecting her first child this fall.

Alert Wimbledon oddsmakers immediately installed her as the doubles favorite.

Root sellers

“Rooted in Oakland” is the A’s new slogan for 2017.

The Raiders, not to be outdone, immediately came up with “Re-accommodating from Oakland.”

Talking the talk

■ RJ Currie of SportsDeke. com, on Olympic gold medalist Dana Vollmer swimming a race during her third trimester: “I’m thinking it’ll be hard to tell if her water breaks.”

■ At SportsPickle.com: “Westbrook, Harden, Durant admit they have discussed one day forming their own ‘super team.’ “

High Tide

The NCAA Football Oversight Committee is vowing take a “deep dive” into the burgeoning size of football support staffs (translation: Alabama’s).

Coot Farley, the Crimson Tide’s assistant recruiting coordinator for deep-snappers, declined comment.

Cheese puffs

Ten tons of Kraft and Velveeta cheese were destroyed when the brakes of the semi hauling it caught fire near West Allis, Wis.

So, in addition to Title Town USA, Cheeseheads can now lay claim to the Fondue Capital of the World.

Hold the stitches

Hockey toughness is contagious, it appears.

A 43-year-old Penguins fan, stabbed in the head with a screwdriver at his Pittsburgh auto-detail shop, refused to go in for medical treatment for more than an hour — until after the team’s playoff game on TV was over.

Quote marks

■ Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after the ESPN Football Power Index gave Nebraska a 0.0 chance of winning the 2017 Big Ten title: “For perspective, the odds of Jim Harbaugh winning the 2025 best actor Academy Award are 0.4 percent.”

■ Ex-NBA star Mychal Thompson, to the St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer Press, on which parent’s genes matter the most: “My mother was a tennis champion. My father didn’t know which end of the basketball to hold.”