Cross-dresser schemes behind his disapproving wife’s back

Dear Abby: I’m a married, heterosexual male. My wife found out a year ago that I have been cross-dressing, and she’s not OK with it. She told me not to do it anymore.

I love my wife and I don’t want to lose her, but this is who I am and I can’t change it. I had an idea. My sister-in-law lives with us. She’s a few years younger than my wife, very open-minded and liberal. I’m wondering if you think I should come out to her in the hope she can persuade my wife to let me dress up, or go behind my wife’s back and help me dress up?

The downside would be that I’d have to go into her room and try on her clothes.

She probably wouldn’t be pleased about that. Also, she has such a close bond with my wife that she might tell her and refuse to help me. Any ideas, Abby? — Hopeless Cross-Dresser

Dear Cross-Dresser: If this is who you are, you should have told your wife about your need to cross-dress before you married her. I do not think you should attempt to recruit your sister-in-law because, whatever she decides, it could damage either your marriage or their relationship.

Not knowing your wife, I can’t guess how amenable she would be to counseling. Some women don’t mind accommodating their husbands and enjoy helping them cross-dress. However, if your wife can’t adjust, you will have to ask yourself whether you can continue in this marriage.