DAILY BRIDGE CLUB

When I watched today’s deal in a Chicago game at the club, my friend the English professor was North. When South opened one spade, the prof’s jump to four diamonds was a “splinter” response, showing good spade support, a singleton diamond and slam interest. (North’s bid was meant to let his partner judge how well the hands fit for slam.)

South then tried for slam by cue-bidding his ace of clubs, and the prof was willing to bid six spades.

West led a heart — the unbid suit — and South played low from dummy. East took the king and returned a diamond, and declarer won, drew trumps and had to locate the queen of clubs to make the slam. Whether by luck or by inspiration, South took the king and led a second club to his 10.

When West followed low, South was exultant.

“Topeka! I have found it,” he bellowed.

“I don’t think that’s quite right,” the prof growled.

“Well then: Urethra! I have found it,” South said.

“Not only is the man classically illiterate,” the prof told me later, “he misplayed the slam.”

How would you handle six spades?

South can succeed without having to look for the queen of clubs. He can win the first heart, take the ace of diamonds, ruff the queen of diamonds in dummy, draw trumps with the A-K and ruff the jack of diamonds. Then South exits with a heart, and the defender who wins must lead either a club, picking up the queen for South, or lead a red card, conceding a fatal ruff-sluff.