Business etiquette for networking

As you no doubt know, job seekers are constantly admonished to network to find their next job. Tell everyone! Ask for leads! Don’t hold back! These are just a few of the exhortations I commonly hear when attending sessions on networking led by instructors who sometimes exhibit more energy than strategy.

Not that I’m outside of this fray. I try to change the game by eschewing the word “networking” as too overworked to hold meaning. But I’m in the same camp as the other instructors when I urge job seekers to connect directly with decision-makers rather than waiting for a posting to appear.

A common objection from job seekers about networking is their perception that it abridges etiquette to call or email someone directly about employment. To be clear, I don’t think it does and I always take pains to explain why: This is business and if you’re making the contact politely and briefly, you have nothing to apologize for.

Since so many job seekers cite etiquette as their reason for not using this most effective of job search strategies, I was happy last week when a new book crossed my desk called Excuse Me: The Survival Guide to Modern Business Etiquette (by Rosanne J. Thomas, AMACOM, 2017, $21.95).

At last, I thought. A guide that will back me up and explain that it’s fine to make these connections. Sadly, Thomas’ book does not cover this territory in much detail, although she does include some short sections on the general concept of networking.

Ah, well. It occurs to me that I should just create a brief set of etiquette points for job search networking, which is what I’m using to end this column. But first, let me detour to tell you what Thomas’ delightful book does include.

A comprehensive section on business dining, which I appreciate for its thoroughness. All the details are there: what to do with your coat and umbrella, how to maximize time when meeting someone for coffee, what to do about the bill.

Tons of tips related to etiquette in the digital age (much of which can easily be converted to the quandaries facing job search networkers). Her advice covers a broad swath, from Twitter to standards for business email. A good refresher for some, but especially useful for new entrants to the workplace.

A very up-to-date approach to the nuances of sharing workspaces in this age of coffee-shop entrepreneurs and open plan offices.

I want to jump to those etiquette tips for job search networking, so I’ll end my comments about Excuse Me by saying this was a really fun book to read. Thomas has augmented her smooth writing style with examples that make it easy to relate to her practical advice . I also enjoyed the annotated endnotes in which she provides reference to contemporary data underpinning today’s concept of business etiquette.

Ready for tips from a non-expert in etiquette about job search networking? Here are the points I find myself repeating the most when talking with job seekers.

1. State the reason for any contact you make. If you want a colleague’s advice about working in their company, don’t ask for time “to catch up” – at least not without mentioning the other desire as well. If they accept the invitation, you’re good. If not, well, that’s okay too.

2. Whether you’re emailing, calling or meeting in person, start with something warm. Not, “Dear Harry, I’m hoping you can help me” but “Dear Harry, I hope you are well.”

3. Do what you say you’ll do. If your contact suggests you get back to them in a few weeks, do it, even if you’ve already moved on in your process. They may just be pushing you off a bit but on the other hand, they may have a solid reason for wanting to talk later rather than now.

4. Say thank you. If the person you contact says “I don’t want to meet with you,” say “Thank you for considering my request.” If they say, “Let’s meet on Thursday,” say “Thank you, what time is good for you?” Really, these are two words that never go out of style, and the more you remember to say them, the less you need to feel that you’ve stepped over your limits by initiating contact.

5. Remember that making contact respectfully is better than not making contact at all. The act of making contact is not in itself disrespectful. People in business have phones and email addresses for the purpose of responding to others. Reach out in a polite, respectful way and you will be on the right side of the equation, regardless of the purpose for your outreach.