A-Rod no longer so easy to pick out

Forget Joe DiMaggio. Where have you gone, Alex Rodriguez?

“When I was with the Yankees and we won the world championship and you’re wearing the pinstripes, you think you are pretty cool,” A-Rod told NBC’s Jimmy Fallon. “But then when you hang out with Jennifer (Lopez), people confuse me as a security guard all the time.”

Headlines

At TheOnion.com: “Nike introduces new line of sauce-wicking competitive-eating apparel.”

At TheKicker.com: “Cavs fans stockpile lighter fluid to prep for LeBron leaving again.”

People in the news

Match the recent sports headliner with his corresponding Ford vehicle: 1) O.J. Simpson — a) Escape 2) Hugh Freeze — b) Bronco 3) Kyrie Irving — c) Escort

Sports quiz

This year’s most memorable auto race figures to be the: a) Daytona 500 b) Indianapolis 500 c) Uber drivers in slow-moving white Broncos heading to the Lovelock Correctional Center to get first dibs on O.J.

Triple-trouble

Todd Frazier hit into a triple play in his first home at-bat as a member of the Yankees. As if that weren’t bad enough, Frazier immediately went home, tripped on a skateboard, fell down the stairs and bonked himself on the forehead stepping on a rake.

Pass the cold spray

Cubs pitcher John Lackey plunked four White Sox batters in a game last week.

An overzealous PR intern immediately credited him with a four-hitter.

Head games

Reno Aces outfielder Zach Borenstein had a fly ball bounce off his head and over the right-field wall for a home run. “That’s my guy,” said Aces outfield coach Jose Canseco.

Talking the talk

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after British Open winner Jordan Spieth took 30 minutes before taking a shot on the 13th hole: “It was so slow, Major League Baseball offered suggestions to speed up play.”

Ex-Minneapolis Lakers coach John Kundla, who died at 101 on July 23, to the St. Cloud (Minn.) Times, on the sparse crowds in the NBA’s early days: “You had to clap to keep warm in there.”

Pass the Wet Ones

Star receiver Dez Bryant reported three hours late to Cowboys training camp after hosting a hometown barbecue the day before to thank his supporters. Team publicists, already in midseason form, listed him as dayto-day with greasy fingers.

More headlines

At SportsPickle.com: “FS1 announces new debate show: ‘Unacquitted with Skip and O.J.’”

At TheKicker.com: “Kyrie to reveal why he’s leaving LeBron on ESPN special ‘The Rejection.’”

Quote marks

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after Bears linebacker Jerrell Freeman employed the Heimlich maneuver to save a man from choking: “To which Atlanta Falcons fans are saying, ‘Where was this guy during the Super Bowl?’ ”