Don’t do this at home: ways to avoid making costly computer mistakes

When I told my wife I planned to write this week’s column about some of the mistakes I’ve made while messing with computing, she said: “Oh, you’re going to finally write a book.”

She’s right. My mistakes would fill a book, not just a column. And after reading some of them you may well think “why should I take computing advice from a guy who is a mass murderer of PCs? He’s not much different than I am when it comes to computers.”

And maybe that’s exactly the point, the reason this column has been around for decades. I am like a lot of you. I’m not some super computer genius and I’ve mostly learned by making mistakes. So I’ve learned a lot. And that lets me talk your language; one I hope is easy to understand.

We will talk – without shame, at least on your part – about some of the big mistakes out there and how to avoid them. You can learn from my failures and, who knows, maybe I will too.

I’m danged near mentally ill

When I start working on a computer that’s stopped working I tend to go a little crazy. I work too fast, think too little. Just the other day I tried to force a connector into a socket that – despite being the correct connector – didn’t want to accept the connector.

So I pushed and pushed and got the thing to fit. But, when it came time to remove the connector, the force of that nearly ripped the connector away from the chassis of the computer.

The old rule is a good one: Don’t force something. If it doesn’t feel as if it fits then, instead of pushing and shoving, try to find out why it doesn’t fit and fix that.

The message applies whether you are working with hardware, software or your balky lawnmower, don’t rush, don’t force things. Take time to figure out what the problem is and then move slowly. When you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything.

Be simple minded

I’ve told this story before despite the fact that it truly embarrasses me. I once spent an hour trying to fix a computer that seemed to have lost the ability to provide sound from its speakers. I checked drivers, reseated circuit boards, and cruised some fix-it sites trying to see if I was missing something.

Then I noticed that the volume control of the external speaker system was turned all the way down. (Now you can see why I’m embarrassed to tell you about this one). But it’s a perfect illustration of the fact that it’s always smart to check the obvious first, before trying the exotic.

Don’t fix things that aren’t broken

Many a time I’ve tinkered – both with programs and with hardware – trying to wring a little more performance out of a computer that was working just fine.

The web is filled with miracle programs that turn an outdated and slow computer into a speed demon. That would be great if true. But – I swear this is true – about 90 percent of the time these programs (many of them are free and still over-priced) actually slow down a computer and, in some cases, come loaded with spyware and other stealthy bugs.

If your computer is working, be thankful that it is and leave it alone. If you need a really big increase of speed the best — and sometimes least expensive — way is to buy a faster computer.

Know when to surrender

There are many computer tasks that are way above my head. These are problems that are too complicated for my skill level. But, at times, I have too high of an opinion of my skills and jump right in.

That’s resulted in many a computer that has been fixed so thoroughly it no longer worked.

Many of my readers — I know this because they send me emails with some sad tales — do the same thing. It’s very human and sort of cute to think that we are so smart that our high IQs will substitute for actual knowledge and experience with a specific computer problem. It’s cute but a lie.

OK. I’ve blushed twice while writing this column. I worry that, after reading this you’ll think that I can be a perfect idiot when it comes to computers. That’s not true.

No one is perfect.