Just call him Lucky (wait, not so fast)

What’s so lucky about NFL kick returner Lucky Whitehead again?

■July 24: Publicly accused of shoplifting

■ July 24: Released by the title-contending Cowboys

■ July 25: Oops! Wrongly accused

■ July 26: Claimed off waivers by the hapless Jets

■ Aug. 14: Breaks his foot, requiring surgery

So what’s next ? Onomatologists sue him for false advertising?

Car for sale

The infamous white Ford Bronco in which Al Cowlings drove O. J. Simpson in that slow-speed pursuit on L.A. freeways on June 17, 1994, was up for sale on the History Channel’s “Pawn Stars” recently.

No word on how many miles the car has on it, but it still goes from zero to 30 mph in 12.3 seconds.

Cauliflower ears

WE rassler The Undertaker says he’s deathly afraid of cucumbers. Which probably explains why his favorite hold isn’t called The Salad Bar.

Looking out for No. 2

South Africa’s Louis Oosthuizen became the seventh golfer — and the only active one — with runner-up fifinishes inall four majors when he came in second at this year’s PGA Championship.

He still earned $784,000 in prizemoney— and future Bills Super Bowl tickets.

Talking the talk

■ Colin Cowherd of Fox Sports, on QB Jay Cutler’s short-lived retirement from football: “I thought in the 14 minutes I worked with Jay Cutler, he grew tremendously as a broadcaster.”

■ At TheKicker.com: “Miami builds huge door to hit Jeffrey Loria’s butt on the way out.”

■ At TheOnion.com: “Jerry Jones upset about people trivializing domestic-violence suspensions.”

All kidding aside

Among the things Rory McIlroy autographed during the PGA Championship — a fan’s baby.

Coincidence? The infant now answers to the nickname of “Scorecard.”

Chicken feathers!

Five San Diego State football players contracted chickenpox just a couple of weeks before the season opener. Conspiracy theorists are blaming the San Diego Chicken.

Three-and-out

Speaking of Lucky Whitehead, it’s a wonder he wasn’t snapped up by the Chargers, who drew only 21,000 for their fifirst exhibition game in Los Angeles, put up bad TV ratings — and lost 48-17.

3-point-Fournette

Jaguars rookie RB Leonard Fournette told NFL.com after his exhibition debut that the pro game is “a lot slower than I really thought” and “to me, it was really easy.” Think he’s giddy now? Imagine what he’ll say after a game in which he averages more than 3.4 yards a carry!

More headlines

■ At TheKicker.com: “Bold: Browns fan gets ‘AFC North 3rd Place’ tattoo.”

■ At Fark.com: “Baltimore Ravens sign former 49ers QB not named Colin Kaepernick.”