SIDELINE CHATTER

Headlines

At TheKicker.com: “Trump calls Ravens to remind them ‘Flacco knew what he signed up for.’”

At SportsPickle.com: “John Calipari lands Amazon headquarters.”

At Fark.com: “Dolphins trade Jay Ajayi to Eagles for a cheesesteak, batteries and a shellshocked Santa.” Bowling 600

Husband and wife Michael and Jasmine Snell bowled 300 games on the same night in Omaha, Neb.

Or as they’re now known around Chops Bowling Alley, the perfect couple. Tweet!

The chartered plane carrying the NBA’s Oklahoma City Thunder last Saturday landed in Chicago with its nose cone completely caved in — the result of an apparent

collision with a bird. Here’s guessing it was a blocking fowl. Paging Mr. Spacely

Headline opportunity missed: Astros’ George Jettisons Dodgers. It wasn’t a friendly

Italian fourth-division soccer player Giovanni Liberti has been suspended five games for urinating toward

the opposing team’s fans. What, no yellow card? Bolts’ No. 1 draft pick?

A baby with the last name Frankenstein was born on Halloween in Winter Park, Fla.

Coincidence? The kid already tops Mel Kiper’s big board for 2038. Talking the talk

Washington State football coach Mike Leach, to Pac-12 Networks, on his disdain for Halloween candy corn: “It’s like fruitcake. There’s a reason they only serve fruitcake once a year.” Playing hard-Vol

Some unhappy Tennessee football fans have begun an “Empty Neyland” campaign in hopes that a bunch of no-shows will get Butch Jones fired.

Hey, if empty seats at home was all it took, the Chargers would be changing head coaches every other week. Quote marks

Mike Bianc hi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, stumping for the removal of pot as a banned substance in sports: “Seriously, is there anything more hypocritical than a bunch of old (folks) sitting around getting sauced on vodka martinis while lamenting young athletes who smoke marijuana?”

Seattle Times reader Charlie Gay, after Texans owner Bob McNair’s “inmates running the prison” comment: “And you thought the only chain gang on a football field was the crew marking the first downs.”

Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, appalled by the eye-gouging, throat grab and head shots he saw on TV. “Professional wrestling, or the Miami Dolphins in a game against the Baltimore Ravens?”

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on why Warriors star Steph Curry was the only name mentioned in the GOP tax proposal: “The new Republican strategy of dribble-down economics.”

NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, announcing that the Winter Olympics are just 100 days away: “That means you have just 100 days to pretend you understand curling.”

Hall of Fame DB Deion Sanders, to NFL Network, on Steelers WR Martavis Bryant acting like a diva: “He needs to understand that, baby, you’re an accessory, you’re not the suit. You’re the tie ... and the suit is Antonio Brown.”

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the NFL trying to pinpoint the cause of its flagging TV ratings: “We will bring you the rest of this joke following another penalty, a coach challenge, an injury timeout and a long

commercial break.”