IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

SIDELINE CHATTER

Talk about bad shots selection

The St. Norbert College women’s basketball team got a fast break from competition — 10 games’ worth — after a number of players at the De Pere, Wis., school got busted for taking part in an alcohol-related incident.

Since the suspension means the team won’t play a full Midwest Conference schedule, the Green Knights can’t play in the conference tournament, either.

Headlines

At TheOnion.com: “NFL revokes Roger Goodell’s new contract after he fails physical.”

At TheKicker.com: “LiAngelo scores 47 in his first game at LaVar Ball University.”

Faber College lives

LiAngelo Ball just got a tweet of sympathy from Bluto Blutarsky: “Three months of college down the drain!”

Back to the junkyard

The Browns have fired an NFL-high eight general managers this century.

They don’t believe in buying genuine GM parts.

Something’s Bruin

UCLA canceled its basketball game against Montana because of wildfires.

LaVar Ball, wildfires — what is it about the Bruins and hot air?

Bah, humbug

Football coach Jimbo Fisher reportedly tossed his Christmas tree to the curb after news got out he was bolting Florida State for Texas A&M.

Hey, it was either that or have Chief Osceola light it on fire and stick it in the ground at the 50-yard line.

Talking the talk

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after explosives failed to raze the Silverdome on the first try: “To get it to collapse, they had to rename it Cleveland Browns Stadium.”

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on LaVar Ball pulling his shoplifting son LiAngelo out of UCLA: “That quiet you hear is John Wooden no longer spinning in his grave.”

Just call him McAdieu

The New York Giants mercifully fired Ben McAdoo last week.

Or McAdoo apologists prefer to spin it, snapping his streak of 29 consecutive coaching starts.

Quote marks

Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on rumblings that QB Sam Darnold might stay at USC to avoid being drafted by Cleveland: “The Browns are now bragging about ‘doing our part to keep young people in school.’ “

Comedian Argus Hamilton, on unease over North Korea surrounding the upcoming Seoul Games: “At the rate things are going, 2018 could feature the first Nuclear Winter Olympics.”

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on Arizona considering a bill to outlaw wearing a mask to a public event: “Which could make it very rough on the catchers during home games for the Diamondbacks.”

Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Rafael Palmeiro contemplating an MLB comeback at age 53: “Uh-oh, nobody tell Jamie Moyer.”

Brockton (Mont.) High School girls basketball coach Terrence Johnson, to the Great Falls Tribune, on his players’ reaction after losing 102-0: “They did nothing wrong. At the end of the day, they all went home and asked, ‘What’s for dinner, mom?’” Dwight Perry, Seattle Times