A guide to the World Cup when you know nothing about soccer

NEW YORK So, there’s this thing called the World Cup ...

The group stage of the most widely watched sporting event in the world is about to conclude, and you want to be part of the action going forward. The problem is, you know nothing about soccer or how the World Cup actually works.

Here’s a guide for soccer newbies about some of the more rudimentary aspects of play:

THE ROUND OF 16: We’re just about there, coming out of the round-robin group stage where all 32 national teams play three games for points. There are no draws in the next phase. Instead, the winner of each of the eight groups (four teams per group) plays against the runner-up from another group.

In the group stage, teams earn three points for a win and one point for a draw. The top two teams in each group advance to the round of 16. There are tiebreakers if teams have the same number of points coming out of group play, but you don’t want to go there. It’s complicated. Just enjoy the show.

Once all 16 in the round of 16 are in place, the competition pivots to single elimination, bracket style, like March Madness. If the score is tied after the regulation 90 minutes, two extra periods of 15 minutes each are played. If it’s still tied after that, there’s a penalty shootout, with five players taking turns on the opponent’s goalie.

It takes just one round to go from 16 to eight teams, then four, then two, until a winner takes home what just might be the most unsightly trophy in professional sports.

STOPPAGE TIME: Injuries, substitutions, a welllobbed vuvuzela that makes it onto the field — certain things can slow the game’s pace, but soccer’s running clock never stops. The 90 minutes of regulation play often includes a minute or two added per half, along with some at the end, to account for those delays. It usually amounts to no more than six minutes per game, but if all heck breaks loose and interrupts play, it can be more.

OFFSIDE, IT SEEMS SIMPLE BUT NO: There are lines on the field. The lines mean something, but things get soccer-quirky when it comes to this call. The offside rule goes like this: If an attacker (a forward) is on the opponent’s side of the field and a teammate touches the ball, at least two players from the opposing team must be closer to the goal line than the attacker. If not, the attacker can’t be involved in the play.