Timing is everything in feud

Dear Abby: My wife and I have a disagreement about when a person should be allowed to get up from the table. We have an 8-monthold son whom we both want to grow up to have good manners. We know he’ll soon be out of his high chair and become squirmy and not want to stay seated.

My wife was raised to stay seated and be excused only after everyone is finished eating — holding everyone hostage until the last person is finished and extending dinnertime up to an hour or more. I feel it’s excessive, and a child would have a hard time sitting still that long.

When she was little, her parents tied her to her chair so she couldn’t get up until everyone finished eating. I was raised to ask to be excused after I was finished, but was welcome to stay and socialize if I liked.

In my opinion, dinner should last about 30 minutes so there’s time to finish chores around the house. — High Chair Hostage

Dear High Chair:

Your wife appears to be extremely rigid. On the plus side, she appreciates the importance of family dinners in the home. I agree that children should be taught table manners, however, tying a kid to a chair is considered child abuse these days, and I don’t recommend it.

When a child is old enough to understand, the rules should be spelled out. If a meal at home is going to be a long one, the child should be allowed to be excused from the table as you were. And because you are an adult ,yo u should have the freedom to leave the table if you wish, too.