Using mentors in your career

What’s the difference between a coach, a mentor, and someone you admire? I don’t have a firm answer, but here’s what I think. A person you admire is someone whose life inspires how you want to be in the world. It could be someone you know well, or someone famous, as well someone who lived in a different era.

A coach would be someone who has frequent or regular contact and who takes on the role of correcting and guiding you. This person could be on your payroll – a paid life coach, for example – or could be part of as p or to rother endeavor that you undertake. In general, this relationship would be relatively short, perhaps a few weeks up to a year, and somewhat intense. The intensity would come from the fact that you are both invested in your success, and that there might be a deadline involved (training for a competition, for example).

As for the definition of a mentor, Merriam Webster’s online dictionary gives a broad answer – “a trusted counselor or guide” – while Wikipedia provides more context: “A relationship in which a more experienced or knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person .”

When it comes to professional growth, I’m going to hang my hat on mentorship as the best tool. It’s not as limited as coaching, and it’s more practical than drawing career tips from someone you admire. A mentor is someone you can connect with throughout your career, providing avaluable touchstone as you progress. Finding a mentor Hundreds (perhaps thousands) of programs have been established to create mentorship matches, whether inside specific organizations or in the broader community. While these can be good options, I worry that they can “overprocess” the mentoring concept. That is, if both parties are required to follow certain steps, and if their relationship is directed by a program’s guidelines, things might become constrained, with each side trying to “do it right.”

That said, sometime s it’s a relief to have someone else handle the details, leaving the participants to focus on the fun part. In the end, I don’t think formal programs are a bad idea, but if they seem too detail-laden, going less formal may be a good fit.

One way to do that is by reviewing the career issues you’re concerned with right now, and thinking of people who might have relevant advice. For example, are you trying to decide about changing careers? Perhaps your mentoring need is from someone who has been in your current field a while, who has perspective on where it ’s been and where it might be heading.

Another way to construct your own mentoring process is to build a team. These people needn’t work together or even know about each other, but each would have different expertise to offer. You might still engage in the process to solve a specific question, or you might take a more holistic approach, touching base on a semi-regular basis just to see what you learn.

Making the connection

If you’re not enrolled in a formal program, you’ll need to identify and contact potential mentors yourself. I have a few tips:

No. 1. Start with people you know. It’s usually easier to get a coffee or phone meeting with someone you already interact with, even if that’s been an infrequent event. Once you connect, you can always include “Who else should I talk with” in the advice you request.

No. 2. Don’t lead with the mentor request. This is a case where less is probably best. It’s much easier to agree to a lunch meeting than it is to intentionally enter into a “relationship” of unknown duration. In truth, I don’t think you ever need to formally request that the other person “mentor” you – just asking to get their advice on something will be enough.

No. 3. Make it easy. If you know where this person works, for example, you might make the invitation for lunch or breakfast at a nearby restaurant (at your expense if you can swing it).

No. 4. Take the initiative. Whether you state it clearly or not, mentorship relationships are unbalanced by design. You want to connect with this person more than they want to connect with you. With that understanding, it’s on you to make the outreach and the arrangements.

As for the frequency of the meetings, that will develop naturally, in relation to your schedules and the advice you’re seeking. That said, once a quarter might be as much as you could expect from anyone. But if you take care to express your gratitude for the meetings, and to share your successes and the contacts will start to flow more naturally.