Ways to manage career anxieties

Is it just me, or does it seem as if more people feel more anxious these days? I’m not talking about the mental health condition that can be diagnosed and treated, although maybe there’s some correlation with what I’ve been noticing. In this case, I’m thinking of “anxious” as an adjective, as in, “I’m feeling anxious about my career.”

According to several online dictionaries, when used as an adjective, anxiety is a feeling of fear, worry or unease – which just about sums up what I’ve been hearing from individuals across a range of occupations and ages when they discuss their careers. The irony is that we’re enjoying an up-cycle for workers, where companies are relaxing some of their non-essential hiring criteria.

Actually, the timing may not be coincidental. While I’ve observed workers being fearful about losing their jobs when it feels likely that replacing them will be difficult, I’ve noticed a different kind of discomfort when jobs or options seem more plentiful. In this case, it’s almost as if the sense of opportunity creates urgency, with workers feeling they should be making great leaps instead of small steps.

Did you notice the word “should” in that last sentence? That’s one of the words that occurs most frequently in these conversations. Here’s a look at some of the questions and issues I’ve been hearing, and a brief word of advice for each that might help if any of these happens to be your personal career anxiety.

Am I doing this right? My peers are already (fill in the blank: buying houses, managing departments, etc.) There’s an implied “should” here: “I should be succeeding (whatever that might mean) faster.” It’s a common concern of new workers who may be legitimately stalled in their progress, as well as those who are moving along at a pretty good clip.

Advice: Accept that this is a problem of perspective. By looking at what others are doing, you risk losing perspective on your own goals and strategies. To correct course, you need to assess your achievements on their own merits, including the timetable needed to complete them.

Looking back, I should have …(fill in the blank: pursued that other opportunity, taken a different degree, etc.) Ouch. This is the big “should” that haunts workers. The job not taken, the promotion turned down, the foray into selfemployment that erased the savings account, the ignored training program at the last job … the list could go on, and probably does for many folks. These are the things people run through their heads at challenging moments in their careers, in an effort to see where things went wrong and what they should have done instead.

Advice: Easy to say, hard to do: Replace the word “should” with “could.” Every time. No, you “shouldn’t” have taken that promotion, but you “could have.” What’s the difference? Control, for one thing, and a recognition of the decision-making process. If you can train yourself to let go of shoulds for coulds, you’ll begin to recognize that each of those junctures represented a decision and, like everyone, you made the best choice you could at the time, based on who you were then and what you knew.

Now the hard work begins. You need to recognize these junctures as they occur and use your past processes and mistakes to help you make choices that will stand the test of time better. There’s a bonus to this reframing, by the way. When you start seeing the world of work as a series of “coulds” instead of “shoulds,” you open yourself to a perspective of opportunity rather than obligation. Amy Lindgren owns Prototype Career Service, a career consulting firm in St. Paul. She can be reached at alindgren@ prototypecareerservice.com or at 626 Armstrong Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55102.