An insightful test to stop us from gossiping

Alan Redpath was a well-known 20th Century British evangelist, preacher, and author. He led a church in London until 1953, when he moved to the United States and became the pastor of the historic Moody Memorial Church in Chicago for nine years. He returned to the United Kingdom in 1962, where he continued his ministry until his death in 1984.

I came across a story told by Redpath in the book “A Passion for Preaching,” which offered what I believe to be a practical test against gossip. According to Redpath, one of the congregations he pastored was going through a time of stress, intensified by an insidious surge of gossip among its members. While confronting the group about the environment created by this trend, Redpath encouraged his pastorates to apply a simple formula before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial. The method used the acronym T.H.I.N.K.:

T – Is it true?

H – Is it helpful?

I – Is it inspiring?

N – Is it necessary?

K – Is it kind?

“If what I am about to say does not pass those tests,” said Redpath, “I will keep my mouth shut.”

The book of Proverbs is one of the best pieces of literature brimming with insights and wisdom on the impact of our words. From beautiful, encouraging verses concerning the power of a word spoken at the right time, to harsh admonishments on the importance of self-control when it comes to one’s speech, I often turn to Solomon’s wisdom to keep my own heart in check when it comes to how I communicate with others.

There is a good reason for that. As a true sanguine, I used to have a natural inclination to speak my mind when I was younger — a harmful tendency which created much heartache and loss.

During one of my pastor’s sermons several years ago, while talking about the importance of our words, he shared about how one can quickly determine the depth and authenticity of a person’s faith walk. The lesson within the sermon stuck with me through the years. He said: “If you were to be honest with yourself, would you say your conversations with friends revolve around other people, facts or concepts?”

Think about it. We will naturally have superficial conversations. We enter an elevator, for example, greet a stranger, and often talk about the weather, compliment their dress or the beautiful baby in their arms. We will not engage in a meaningful conversation during our two-minute ride to the 20th floor.

But when it comes to our more intimate relationships with our friends, what conversations hold our hearts together? Is it meaningful talks about life, or do we tend to park our discussions on what others are or are not doing, judging their decisions and choices?

In other words, do I tend to gravitate to talking about other people in a negative light, or do I prefer to discuss ideas and beliefs? The answer should determine our priorities and the depth of our character.

Indeed, I believe that it does not matter how many times we grace the doors of our places of worship. It does not matter if we can quote scriptures or if we serve in any capacity at our local church or synagogue. If we do not T.H.I.N.K. before we speak or spread gossip instead of stopping it, our religion becomes worthless.

King Solomon delivers a stern warning against gossip: “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

We all know that Redpath’s church is not the first or last congregation nearly destroyed by gossip and slander. Many are the temples which have dwindled, divided or closed down entirely because of lack of wisdom and harsh judgment against other people’s lives.

May we strive to seek purity of heart when we deal with each other, extending grace to those who make choices we do not approve, lest our religion becomes nothing but a social activity, and our place of worship nothing but another membership club.