Holiday strategies during recovery

Ready for the holidays? That’s always a loaded question, but even more so if you’re in recovery from addiction. It doesn’t matter if you don’t observe the popular holidays of the season: Unless you plan to spend two months under a rock, you’ll be surrounded by triggers and temptations.

In the workplace, the most notable occurrence in the season might be the annual holiday party. As luck would have it, budgets and liability concerns have conspired to reduce this event significantly over the years, with off-site soirees being replaced by invitations for cookies and coffee in the employee break room.

On the one hand, the lessened emphasis on drinking is welcome for those whose issue is alcohol, but food addicts gain no relief from tables groaning under the weight of 12 different desserts. Which just goes to show that an awkward gathering is still just that – awkward – regardless of what’s being served.

That’s why people committed to their recovery need to make a plan that will foster success, while taking into account their own triggers and temptations. If you are that person, remember: while the goal is to enjoy your holiday season, if you have to settle for simply surviving it, that still counts as a success.

Here are 10 tips that may help as you make your own holiday survive/thrive plans, at work and at home. The first five involve gatherings, as those can be the most difficult aspects of the holidays to navigate.

1. Find a buddy. If you have one good friend you can rely on, that’s great. But even a series of individuals you enlist for specific situations will do. Bring a coworker to that client holiday party you’re worried about; invite a friend to join you at the vendor’s open house; ask your cousin to stop by at your parent’s annual gathering.

2. Take part in the planning. Joining a committee is extra work, but it gives you a voice in designing events that better suit your needs.

3. Don’t be the host. Whether it’s work or personal, remember that hosts can’t easily leave. It’s one thing to help with the planning, but quite another to be trapped into staying when you’ve reached your limit.

4. Have an exit strategy. It’s OK to leave a gathering early, even if that means missing the main event. If you predict this may be necessary, consider telling the host in advance, “I may need to leave early, so don’t worry if I slip out.”

5. Allow yourself to skip the event altogether. Whether it’s a work or family gathering, remember that “I can’t attend, but thank you for inviting me” is always one of your RSVP options. That said, isolation is probably not going to be your friend, so you’ll want to weigh the pluses and minuses before making the decision.

6. Make new traditions. If your past holiday traditions don’t mesh well with your recovery, it’s time to find new things to look forward to doing. It might be a concert you go to each year, a new gathering you start attending, gifts you learn how to make … anything will do, as long as it’s something you can enjoy.

7. Enjoy thanking others. The holidays are one time when you can send mushy cards to co-workers, bosses, and even job search and networking contacts. Don’t go overboard on the mushy part, but do express your appreciation of their contribution to your year.

8. Take advantage of seasonal jobs. One way to stay out of trouble is to stay busy with structured activity. Putting in a few hours at a holiday job may be a good antidote to isolation while also helping with your finances.

9. Find others who need you. Shut-ins, people who are newer in their recovery, kids who want to go sledding …whoever you give your time to, you’ll be improving two lives with one activity. That’s a good return on your investment.

10. Forgive yourself. The holidays are ripe for brooding, with thoughts turning to what-ifs and regrets. If there’s something you can fix or someone you need to make amends to, that’s one thing. But if it’s brooding just to brood? Wait for another season. That’s a holiday tradition you can do without.

We’ll tackle more strategies for work issues during recovery in the coming months, as part of this year’s Second Sunday series. In the meantime, I’d like to hear your ideas, questions, resources and experiences around this issue, whether you’re in recovery yourself or you work or live with someone on this journey. I’ve already received helpful feedback and personal experiences from readers on these topics – meet me back here in December and I’ll share some of those insights.