Can mom of young adult still correct her manners?

Dear Miss Manners: When should I stop correcting my daughter’s manners?

She is now 18, and when we are together in public or in private, I sometimes correct her (gently and discreetly, of course). I hate to do this, as I feel it is rude to notice aloud another’s manners, but on the other hand, I feel it is my duty to remind my daughter how important it is to treat others with politeness. She doesn’t seem to mind and sometimes even thanks me for reminding or teaching her.

You may be thinking that if the girl has not learned by age 18 how to behave, then it is a little late. She is very well-mannered generally, and I am proud of her. But since she spends most of her time with her peers, who have not been brought up as she has, she falls into bad habits, and I would like to take advantage of our brief times together to rub off on her in a good way.

Is setting an example the best way now, or would I be doing her a disservice by not reminding her?

Gentle Reader: One is never too old to be mothered — and teaching etiquette is part of the job description. Miss Manners finds setting an example, along with gentle, discreet reminders, proper.

If your daughter is receptive to, and even grateful for, your help, why question it? Particularly as she is at an age where she may soon be seeking employment and more formal social situations, she will appreciate the efforts even more when her impeccable manners put her in a far better position than her apparently lackluster peers.

Dear Miss Manners: I live in a townhouse condo complex. An elderly gentleman lives next door. Each day, when he walks to get his mail, he feels the need to shout through my front window whether the mail is here or not. If it’s not about the mail, he’ll just shout a pleasantry. Loudly. I realize he has difficulty walking, and doesn’t like to climb my front steps, but I find it very annoying to be shouted at — not to mention, he has woken me up several times. Please tell me how I can discourage this neighbor from shouting at me each day without sounding mean-spirited?

Gentle Reader: Honesty is not, Miss Manners believes, always the best policy, but sometimes it can be both useful and polite. Next time you see the gentleman, thank him sincerely for his solicitousness, but explain that as you — and perhaps some of the neighbors — tend to sleep late, you would be even more grateful if he could remember that before shouting.