8 TIPS TO HELP KIDS GET TO SLEEP

Experts have estimated that as many as 50% of kids have trouble going to sleep at some point in their development. For many children, this struggle has been amplified during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Getting kids to go to bed doesn’t require a Ph.D., but some inside knowledge helps.

For example, parents may be wondering if they should sleep with anxious kids. “It depends,” says Lauren Asarnow, a clinical psychologist and specialist in pediatric behavioral sleep medicine at the University of California at San Francisco. “Maintaining the usual schedule and expectations as much as possible is always ideal in that it makes children feel that they know what to expect. Sometimes, well-intentioned parents want to allow their children extra leeway with rules or expectations in challenging times.”

Here’s a roundup of tips from Asarnow and child clinical psychologist Nicole Bush, also with UCSF, on what works in setting kids up for sleep success.

1. Keep routines routine

Knowing what to expect — and what’s expected of them — helps kids stay on track. When nothing is the way it used to be, changing up the bedtime routine only adds more stress.

2. Label and validate their feelings

Let your kids know it’s OK to feel worried or sad, and everything is indeed different than it used to be. Sit with them for a minute, validate their experience, but then shift the focus to all the things they can do to help themselves feel better.

3. Tell a different story

Cognitive reframing is the process of taking a negative thought and shifting it toward something adaptive. Instead of “I’m all alone,” remind your child to think “Mom is just down the hall.” Instead of “Something bad might happen,” have them think “I’m safe.”

4. Build skills

Deep, steady breathing and mini-meditations help calm the sympathetic nervous system, aka the body’s fight-or-flight response to fear. There are numerous apps available for kids that help them learn and practice self-regulation. Bonus: They work for parents, too.

5. Move

Exercise can be challenging while stuck at home, especially in urban environments, but it is key to feeling tired enough to fall asleep. It also promotes the production of chemicals that support positive mood and immune function. (Avoid it just before bedtime, when it can be activating.)

6. Focus on the positive

Spend a couple of minutes before bedtime talking about the good things, small and large, that happened during the day — for both of you.

7. Reinforce results

Praise even the smallest progress and use whatever reward your child will respond to if they stay in bed until morning.

8. Go easy on them — and on yourself

These are tough times. There’s no magic bullet and no onesize-fits-all solution. Learning to self-soothe and regulate emotions takes time and practice, even for grown-ups. Try some strategies, be patient with your child and be kind to yourself. If nothing works, don’t be shy about seeking professional help.