Mitzvahs adapt for the Zoom era using technology

In Jewish tradition, a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah is held near a boy’s or a girl’s 13th birthday.

Even in a time of pandemic, simply delaying isn’t an easy choice, since boys and girls spend months or even years learning a date-specific section of the Torah, and many parents have invested similar amounts of time planning parties that cost tens of thousands of dollars.

So, some are going ahead with small ceremonies, or with virtual festivities — at a time when their congregations are already celebrating Zoom weddings, dialing in for Zoom funerals and gathering in mourning for Zoom shivas.

At Temple Beth Zion-Beth Israel in Philadelphia, where Shabbat services have been suspended during the pandemic, one family opted to move the service to a weekday and stream it on Zoom, with all participants streaming from their respective homes.

“It’s the idea of this being less about a milestone birthday and more about taking responsibility for one’s place as an active member of the community,” Rabbi Abe Friedman said. “What matters is the child having an empowering, affirming experience of taking their place as a leader in the community.”

At Temple Beth Sholom in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, cantor Jen Cohen has been consulting with a congregant who’s an epidemiologist, and letting families put off making decisions as they monitor changing government guidance. Some who have ceremonies scheduled for May or June are still debating. If they go to Zoom, Cohen said, “We just want to make it joyful and meaningful and all the things we would be if it was in our sanctuary.”