Newlyweds have no space for gifts

Dear Miss Manners: Because of COVID-19, my daughter is having a very small wedding. The newlyweds are graduate students and will be sharing a house with three other graduate students, so they will only have a bedroom and bathroom to themselves for a couple of years.

Because of this, they have no room for wedding gifts. Do we mention that to the guests, or just keep quiet?

Gentle Reader: There is no polite way to say, “Save your money; they won't have room for all that junk.”

If a guest specifically asks, you may say that the couple will be in tight living quarters or that they enjoy other activities away from home, like traveling. Miss Manners is certain that someday they will be in a different living situation, however, and at that point will want household items. In the meantime, she suggests that you clear some space in the basement.

Dear Miss Manners: How would you respond to someone who says, “Could you do something for me? Please and thank you.” They think they are being polite, and I don't want to embarrass them or hurt their feelings.

Gentle Reader: There's a reason that the “please” comes as the request is being made and the “thank you” comes afterward. It wards off presumption — and a foregone conclusion where none was promised.

Miss Manners is not falling for it, and neither should you. The response to it is to say in a light and teasing way, "I'm sorry. I seemed to have missed something. To what did I already agree?"

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Miss Manners at www. missmanners.com; dearmissmanners@ gmail.com; or Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.