There’s a feathered soap opera outside

Birdwatching has been trending since everyone is cooped up at home.

WASHINGTON — One of the lesser casualties of the coronavirus pandemic is gossip. Many of us are suddenly leading very boring lives: baking banana bread, learning TikTok dances, watching the full contents of Netflix. Even the celebrities are dullsville these days. Sensing our desperation for scuttlebutt, they’ve retreated into their luxurious villas, which they quickly learned not to flaunt.

Now who are we supposed to talk about, judge and live vicariously through? Birds.

Seriously, these feathered freaks have no shame. A family of pigeons has been visiting my balcony since March, and their lives are dramatic. It all started with the male, Mr. Whitebutt, seducing Ms. Whitebutt right on my railing. Not long afterward, Whitebutt Jr. showed up — begging for food from his harried parents, even though he could have easily pecked it up himself. Later that very day, I saw Mr. Whitebutt strutting and cooing at a lady pigeon who was most decidedly not Ms. Whitebutt, as this temptress’s butt was dark gray. What. A. Snake. Ms. Whitebutt, if you’re reading this, you deserve better.

That’s a lot of excitement for a 10th-floor balcony, but suburban yards are even better. At my friend’s house in Arlington, Virginia, I’ve seen a cowbird con a pair of robins into raising her baby, a family of woodpeckers get evicted by starlings, and — way up high — a bald eagle yank a fish from the talons of an osprey. It’s wild out there, and the wilderness is closer than you think.

Of course, what I am talking about here is birdwatching. In the Before Times, many people saw birding as weirdly inert. Now, the fact that you can do it without going anywhere is one of birdwatching’s major attractions — and birding is trending in a major way. From March through June, a record-breaking 186,377 folks signed up for accounts on eBird, a massive database where birders report their sightings. That’s a 68 % increase over last year, according to Ian Davies, who coordinates the project through the Cornell Lab of Ornithology.

Everyone, it seems, is turning to birds for entertainment — including some tabloid celebrities who should really be focused on entertaining us. I’m looking at you, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Stop obsessing over your hummingbird garden and do something outstandingly dumb. Why else are you even around?

In the meantime, here are some tips for spying on birds. Get good binoculars Tuning in to the natural world is as simple as looking out your window, but you have to really look. That’s easier (and more fun) if you have a pair of decent bins. A few

COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR Sadie Dingfelder made friends with a pigeon, Mr. Whitebutt, who now visits her 10th-floor balcony in Washington, D.C., daily.