Mom’s life has less stress after man leaves for prison

Dear Abby: I recently had a child with a man who is now incarcerated. I was widowed when I met him, and although he brought me happiness, it has come at a steep price.

I pay for literally everything. I love him very much, but his entitlement was an issue even before he had legal issues. Now he has become very nasty and minimizes everything I do.

If I send $100, he’s upset that I didn’t send $200. If I have a day off from work that I don’t spend communicating with a lawyer and the courts, I’m “not taking initiative.” He has even gone so far as to say it was my fault he got in trouble because I was on his case so often that he “had to go out to get some peace.” His only redeeming quality is his wonderful relationship with the kids, who see none of our fights and regard him as a father figure.

He is now even more negative and derogatory than when he was at home. I manage a busy restaurant and a household of five children. Since he has been away, I’m ashamed to say life has actually been less stressful.

I think my loneliness when I met him made it easier to ignore red flags. In every other aspect of my life, I am an independent woman who has the respect of my peers. Is it too late to set boundaries with him?

— Growing in Florida

Dear Growing: This emotionally abusive individual is milking you like you are a Guernsey cow. His ingratitude is boundless. You are not the reason he got himself in trouble with the law, and it isn’t your responsibility to get him out or support him financially.

It is way too late to set boundaries with this manipulative ingrate. He won’t change. What you must do now — for your own sake and for your children’s — is tell him you are finished.

Dear Abby: I live in Kansas and my boyfriend lives in another state. We talk online all the time, but I haven’t heard from him in three days and I don’t know what to think. My friends say I’m being paranoid, but I can’t help but think that he might be seeing another girl. I’ve had problems like this before and ended up getting hurt because I didn’t listen when my friends told me that a guy was cheating. What should I do? — Long-distance Love

Dear L.D.L.: Recognize that as much as two people might care about each other, long-distance romances don’t always have fairytale endings. I don’t know if your boyfriend is cheating. Neither do you and neither do your friends.

It’s time for you to have a calm conversation with your boyfriend. Tell him you were worried by his three-day silence because it was unusual. Let him respond. If you are satisfied with his answer, change the subject. However, if you aren’t, ASK him if he has met someone closer to home and tell him to level with you. It takes courage to do this, but it will save you a lot of pain in the long run.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Blackberry Smoke returns with new music this spring in the form of “You Hear Georgia.”

The band’s first studio album since 2018’s “Find a Light” will spotlight the musical heritage of their home state and pay homage to their musical roots.

Produced by fellow Georgian Dave Cobb, “You Hear Ge o rgia,” due May 28, includes guest appearances from Jamey Johnson, Warren Haynes and The Black Bettys.

The title track, said singer Charlie Starr, is “about the South being misunderstood.

It’s obviously a rough and tumble world, and there’s a lot of bad people. But there’s a lot of good people too. It started with the idea of how people might have a preconceived opinion of you because of a thick Southern accent, then expanded into the reality of how some people just seem to have such a hard time getting along, thanks to political or religious views, or simply what part of the country you come from.”

While “You Hear Georgia” is Blackberry Smoke’s first studio album in a few years, the band released several projects in the interim, including a live album and concert film; a six-song acoustic EP; and, last summer, an EP of six cover songs with ties to the historic Macon studio.