■ Vaccine conversations can be messy. Here’s how to talk about the shots,

As millions of Americans eagerly roll up their sleeves for coronavirus vaccines, a significant number of others remain hesitant about the shots or reject them altogether. Consequently, many people are finding it difficult to navigate conversations with loved ones who have divergent views about the vaccines, as well as social situations involving those with different vaccination statuses.

While a poll conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation in March showed that the share of Americans who have gotten vaccinated or want to right away is growing, 17% of Americans were still taking a wait-and-see approach, 7% were planning to get vaccinated only if required and 13% said they would definitely not get a vaccine.

“I don’t know if I’ve encountered one person that has not had challenges around these conversations, because there’s at least one or two people within your circle that have differing opinions on how to take care of themselves health-wise considering the vaccine,” said Akua Boateng, a licensed psychotherapist in Philadelphia.

But experts say it is possible to avoid straining or damaging your close relationships and still have productive conversations about vaccines with family and friends who don’t share your views. Here’s what they recommend.

1. Manage your expectations and set boundaries.

It would be a mistake to enter a conversation convinced that you are going to be able to persuade another person to change their mind, said Paul White, a psychology professor at the University of Utah who studies attitudes and persuasion.

“If you’re going into it going, ‘I am going to win this argument,’ you may, you may not,” White said.“and if anything, you may fray the relationship connections you have with your family, with your friends, with your close person.”

Gregory Zimet, a professor of pediatrics in clinical psychology at Indiana University’s School of Medicine, agrees, calling the approach a“set up for failure.”

“It’s human nature to get defensive when your belief system is being challenged and attacked,”he said.“people tend to identify with their belief systems, and an attack on your belief systems feels very much like an attack on you.”

2. Acknowledge concerns and figure out the reasons behind them.

How you bring up the subject matters, Zimet said. Instead of asking pointed questions such as,“why haven’t you gotten your vaccine,”you can try sharing your own experience with the vaccine and give others the opportunity to ask you questions.

If you’re talking to someone who isn’t ready to get vaccinated, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings and let them know that they aren’t alone, said Sunil Kripalani, a professor of medicine at Vanderbilt University Medical Center who studies health communication .“that allows you to begin with a position of empathy and understanding.”

3. Don’t lecture, shame or threaten.

When talking to a relative or friend, avoid becoming “preachy and moralistic,” said Vish Viswanath, a professor of health communication at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.“at some point, if they feel that they are being disrespected, they’re not being listened to, that their concerns are not being validated, then they will pull away from you.”

You can also ask people what would help them feel more confident or increase their interest in getting vaccinated, Kripalani said.“it’s a disarming way to ask and it gives you something that is more positive to talk about, which can help move the conversation forward.” Be prepared to direct loved ones to sources they would trust, such as other family members, faith leaders, community groups, or prominent health officials and organizations.

4. Know when to back off.

Though conversations about vaccines aren’t likely to be resolved quickly, you should know when to stop.

Signals to pay attention to include mood and body language, and where the discussion is going. If tempers are starting to rise and the conversation becomes combative or defensive, it’s time to back off.“the more you try to convince them, the more you’re reinforcing their beliefs ,” vis wan a th said .“at some point, you want to just let them be and wait for the right moment.”