Take time to honor your aging mom, dad

I watched his eyes sparkle and his smile widen as we talked about the parallel between nature and the seasons of life.

We have that in common, daddy and I — we tend to introspectively stretch our hearts to see God’s hand in everything. And nature undoubtedly is one of the most common canvases where our poetic veins soar in search of meaning for life’s highs and lows.

At 87, dad still inspires me with his positive outlook on life, even though he has struggled with health issues for several months. As I sat across him this morning, he talked about how God rescued him from depression by showing him how blessed he is, compared to so many people around.

I said a silent prayer, asking God to help me never to forget these rare moments when I go back home to America in a couple of weeks.

Watching my parents age in the past several years has been so hard. Whether it’s due to the natural decline of an aging body or the shadows that depression sometimes brings to seniors, witnessing the strong man and woman who raised me with such wit and energy become a shadow of themselves has been challenging. The issue becomes even more challenging because of the continent that separates us.

To those of us who are blessed to have parents who live a long life, we must face the decision of how involved we will be as they enter the winter of their lives.

According to a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report, there is a “senior loneliness epidemic” in the United States. Approximately one in three seniors live alone, and those who no longer drive may spend long days isolated and go days or weeks without seeing loved ones. More than a third of senior adults feel lonely. Likewise, experts found that loneliness increases the risk of death by 30 to 60% and is linked to depression and chronic health problems.

When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments found in the 20th chapter of Exodus, he deliberately included a promise in the Fifth Commandment:

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

After fleeing Egypt and wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, God’s people would inherit the coveted Promise Land. They needed laws and guidance to establish their society under God’s protection and favor. The Ten Commandments became the very first law to guide a people that lived under the influence of a pagan culture for over four centuries.

We should not overlook God’s unique focus on the commandment to honor one’s father and mother. There is a reason he tagged a promise along with this commandment. As 17th-century minister and author Matthew Henry states in his commentary:

“(…) here, a long life in that good land is promised particularly to obedient children. Those that do their duty to their parents are most likely to have the comfort of that which their parents gather for them and leave to them; those that support their parents shall find that God, the common Father, will support them.”

I agree with Henry. There is a more intrinsic meaning to “a long life” promised to those who honor their parents. The “long life” also can be understood as a spiritually and emotionally abundant life, for I believe God favors and protects those who choose to honor and care for their parents as the prime of their lives dawns.

It’s not always easy and certainly not convenient, but may we take time to care for our parents with the same love we hope to receive one day. May we never forget that we will soon be in their shoes, longing for our children’s love, patience and presence, long after we are no longer needed.