The art of conversation also includes listening

Sometimes, it seems as if conversation is a lost art.

Do you think others consider you a better listener or speaker? Or would they consider you equally skilled in both? Learning to balance assertion with inquiry is a skill set that will serve you well in multiple aspects of your life.

When we attend networking and other professional events, we notice that some people lean more into the assertion part of the dialogue than the inquiry. This can also happen when gathering with family or friends. No matter the occasion, one-sided “conversations” can leave both parties feeling rather unsatisfied.

Everyone wants to feel seen and heard. They want to know that they matter. When you provide this opportunity for the other party rather than trying to be interesting or prove yourself, you may gain some valuable and interesting insights about the other person. And once that person feels heard, they are more likely to reciprocate.

Learning to be reciprocal in conversations is an invaluable skill. It can be developed with intentionality and practice.

Here are some strategies to improve your conversation skills: ■ Make an agreement with yourself before a gathering to consciously participate in more listening or speaking, depending on the area you want to strengthen. ■ Come prepared with a few questions. This will help you build confidence and relaxed for better social engagement.

■ Learn to read nonverbal cues like body language and facial expressions. This may help you ascertain whether someone has finished their thought or has paused to think.

■ Step out of your comfort zone more often. Humans tend to avoid activities where they don’t feel competent. This doesn’t help you get better at it though. Practice your conversation skills whenever the opportunity presents itself, be it at the grocery store, in the workplace or with your neighbors.

■ Other people may also be on a learning curve. Give yourself and others grace when a conversation doesn’t go perfectly.

For The AJC