Helping hand can benefit giver as well as receiver

An outstretched hand from someone when you need them is a symbol of care. Support makes a huge difference when you are in time of need.

You feel touched. You no longer experience loneliness and isolation.

Being lent a hand in and of itself can move you forward in certain ways. Isn’t that true?

Think of the times you’ve asked for help. While it can be vulnerable to receive, a helping hand can also be magical and reassuring.

Let’s say you learn that a good friend has a cancer diagnosis. How can you support them? Many cancer patients we have worked with share that making them meals can be meaningful, but too many casseroles in their refrigerator can create their own problems.

Gestures such as giving flowers, filling up their car tank, or running errands for them can be immensely helpful and timely. The cancer journey can be exhausting in all realms. Perhaps sitting with them during their treatment is something you feel courageous enough to do. Kindness lifts others in need.

The late oncologist, Jeremy Geffen, said something mind-blowing about support. He said, “Connection with other people lies at the heart of healing. This is true for cancer or any other illness. Though it may take many forms, the need for human connection is as basic as the need for surgery, or chemotherapy or any other medical treatment.”

That said, being open and willing to reach out as skillfully as you can to your friend is paramount.

This means asking how (not if ) you can help. It means listening more than speaking.

It doesn’t mean giving advice or sharing tales of those with similar cancers, especially if others died from the same cancer. Most valuable is being willing to be a loving presence.

It can be a tall order when you are scared or uncomfortable in your own right.

But if you can summon the strength to just be there with love, the healing impact can be beautifully indescribable.