CAROLYN HAX

ADVICE WITH ATTITUDE & A GROUNDED

Dear Carolyn: I “chose” a career path in a very niche field with limited job opportunities and a lot of people vying for those few spots. (“Chose” because I sort of just fell into it.) Basically, every time I move on to a new position, I have to uproot my life to a new location for a job.

While I do enjoy certain things about my field, I am by no means passionate about it. I floundered a bit after my undergraduate degree, had some great experiences while I had no idea what to do with the rest of my life, then floundered a bit more as I went through two graduate programs.

At this point in my life, approaching 40, I’ve accepted I’m not going to find a job I’m really excited about, and that’s OK. I fill my non-work life with things that make me happy. But I can no longer take the stress of knowing the next job search will be so arduous and ultimately force me to start over somewhere else ... yet again. That was exciting in my 20s. It’s not anymore.

I started a new job a few months ago, moving from the East to the West Coast. It’s a beautiful part of the country and I convinced myself I was up for the adventure. Turns out I wasn’t. I desperately want to go back to my previous city — where, for the first time since growing up, I felt at home. I have friends there, it was easy to visit other friends and family along the coast, I was happy and comfortable.

I desperately want to go back. Soon. But there are no jobs in my field. I’ve devised this fantasy that I can just quit my job here, go back east and find something low-stress (even a couple of part-time jobs), and rethink my career. Maybe seek out some sort of certificate program in a field with more job availability. This would mean a very significant pay cut, but I’d be living with my partner, since his move west with me was delayed due to the pandemic.

For once in my life, I want to prioritize my happiness over chasing jobs. Should I take the risk? — Not At Home

Dear Not At Home: I can’t think of one reason not to. There’s a money risk, OK, yes? That’s valid, but you don’t seem to want this career anyway, so the retraining-whilemaking-wages-at-whatever sounds like a pragmatic answer to that.

I’ll grant this is all easy for me to say, not staring down a second cross-country move in almost as many months, plus a pay cut. But still.

The idea that having paid steep tuition for the honor of being in the wrong career means you have to stay in the wrong career never made sense to me. The way I see it, you have two choices: Spend indefinite time on something you don’t want, or spend a finite time and some (more) money on something you do want.

As long as you aren’t paying off loans that depend on your making big money in your field, there’s nothing to hold you there.

Re Not At Home: Talk to a career counselor. I went through that at my local community college for free.

— Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Great idea, thanks.