ASK AMY Giving man was played for a piñata

DearAmy: Ihavebeen on a series of dates with an established professional. I got the feeling that she just viewedmeas amoney piñata, even though I imagine she out-earnsme.

We are both late-millennials. We established values of equality, reciprocity, family, etc., before we even met in person.

We had a great time on our first date. The bill arrived, and therewas no back-and-forth overwho might pay. She never even looked in its direction. No worries, I got it.

Second date, we also had a good time. The bill arrived. Same thing. This time I let it sit on the table for probably 15 minutes before I placedmy card in the folder.

We decided to meet again. This time, she asked if Iwould like to split the bill with her.

This behavior confused me. I called her out by asking, “Arewe on a date, or arewe friends meeting for dinner?” She insisted wewere on a date. I said, “Well this is intriguing, you want to go Dutch on the third date, but not the first or second? Her replywas a cool: “Yeah.”

Wanting to leave without creating a conflict, I paid the bill and expected not to speak to her again.

The followingweek, she invitedmeto brunch. Everythingwent fine but, hey, nowI’m curious about what is going to happen when the check arrives.

Sure enough, she doesn’t even look at it. I let it sit on the table for 30 minutes before thewaiter returned wanting to cash it out.

I paid the bill and thanked her for inviting meout ... to pay for her meal. She looked confused, as if I had broken some unspoken rule of dating in which themanmust pick up every check.

I have been rejecting her calls and texts to “get together” ever since.

I’m curious about what you think of this.

— Would LikeEquality

DearEquality: Iam 100% on your side. But I have to ask: If you’ve been played somany times, then why have you kept throwing down your card?

Your mutual staring contests when the check comes are amusing, but you’ve been outflanked. Whentwo people connect online and mutually agree to meet, they should split the check. After that, when one person asks the other out, they should also offer to pay the bill.

In the future, a conversationmight have avoided this gamesmanship. You took a baby step by asking whether youwere on a date or a friend-date, but you never followed up by describing howher behavior made you feel.

I’ll fill you in on what the kids are doing these days. They useVenmoorPayPal to bill their dinner partners after the fact, if they believe they are owedmoney.

DearAmy: I amresponding to “Sexless at Sixty,” a womanwhowasworried about her husband’s libido. She said she always had to initiate sex.

I ama 94-year-young gentleman. I have been alone for nearly three years. I nowhave two lady friends, both sexually active, asamI.

I see each of them at least once aweek.

Fortunately, they live about 40 miles apart, and do not knoweach other.

Tell the ladies that it is OKfor them to initiate the “action.” It’s time for them to understand that being aggressive is modern, and it isOKwith us.

— HappyMan

DearHappy: Iwonder if your two lady-friends wouldmind the fact that you are sleeping around; if not, you’re good, but you shouldmake sure that each womanknows that you are not sexually exclusive.

It is also vital that you and all of your partners get screened for STDs.

DearAmy: I had an additional thought regarding your excellent advice to “Sexless at Sixty.” It appears that the absence of sex in the writer’s otherwise solid relationship with her husband is largely due to an absence of desire on his part.

I suggest the husband discuss this with his physician because there are a number of physical issues that should be considered as the cause of his absent libido. Side effects of medications such as antidepressants, lowtestosterone level and other easily corrected culprits should be considered.

— ClarkChipman, MD

DearDr. Chipman: Absolutely! Many respondents have noted that their own sexual dysfunctionwas reversed after seeking medical advice.