ASK AMY Family spends holidays in fantasyland

DearAmy: Due to the pandemic, my husband and I have decided thatwe won’t see any extended family during the holidays. Of course, wewant to, and our four kids will be disappointed, butwe’re just not sure if it’sworth the risk.

I expressed asmuch to my sister-in-law, and she responded that they’ve decided that their family wouldn’t be gathering for the holidays, either, so they understand.

Then, mymother-in-law clarified that the reason my sister-in-law’s family won’t be gathering for the holidays is because they have decided to take a trip to DisneyWorld, instead.

She added that because it’s “dirt cheap right now” and likelywon’t be crowded, it just made the most sense for themto go there at this time.

I amupset and disappointed thatmy sisterin-lawand her family are choosing to do this. I feel that it’s irresponsible to come fromwhat is right nowone of the biggest coronavirus hotspots to a crowded place.

I knowfrompast conversations that they are notworried for their family because they say they are perfectly healthy, and also, they feel that anything outdoors is totally fine.

I really feel likesaying something to them, but is it worth it?

I knowthat everybody is struggling to deal with this pandemic, and I don’t want to judge theway anyone else is coping. I alsowonder ifmy negative judgment will impact our relationship.

— Self-righteous sisterin-law

DearSelf-righteous: You are getting this information about your sister-inlaw’s choices secondhand. Given the reality of the pandemic, and your opinion about what they are doing, you should be glad that you aren’t planning to see these family members anytime soon.

As Dr. Anthony Fauci has said, traveling any long distance creates multiple possibleCOVID-19 exposures. So, while families may believe they are safe outdoors— masked and maintaining distance from other groups— getting to Florida and back carries a risk of exposing them to the virus.

Unless your sister-inlawseeks you out to tell you about this trip, asking for your opinion, why would you volunteer it? They have evidently put together their own risk assessment and have decided to plowahead with their plans.

DearAmy: My dilemma involves a group ofwomen whoI amfriends with on an online sobriety site.

We met virtually over five years ago, have traveled together and share our lives daily with our blogs and Zooms.

I’ve noticed that the members, mostly from theU.K., often poke fun at America and Americans, calling us “the colonists” and posting degrading videos regarding our political situation, etc.

Iwas raised to respect other people’s countries and traditions. Except for this, thesewomenare kind and have good manners.

So howcan I get them to stop this. It hurts!

I did speak to one of them aboutmy feelings, and she said that the others would be mortified if they knew that their comments botheredme. Sowhy do they do that? — ConfusedAmerican

DearConfused: My take on this is that thesewomen dis America because the pot sometimes enjoys calling out the kettle.

My point is— are you aware of howmessed-up things are right nowin theU.K.? (Have you been watching “The Crown”?)

These friends also do this because they don’t knowit bothers you, and they don’t knowit bothers you because you have not told them. So, tell them!

Say, “I have a confession tomake: Your contempt toward America really bothersme. Honestly, I find it hurtful. I should have said something before, because I know if I had, youwould have stopped. Things are tough everywhere right now, so canwe call a truce?”

DearAmy: “Sexless at 60” said that she and her husband had stopped having sex.

I hope they both get their hormone levels checked! My husband and I had a similar problem. Working it through with our doctors helped to restore our libidos.

— Happier

DearHappier: Absolutely. Many readers have responded with similar success stories.