Practice gratitude to cope during difficult times
When life is going well, it’s easy to feel grateful for all that’s going our way. But is gratitude possible in the midst of a pandemic that has inflicted so much suffering?
Not only will practicing gratitude help, it’s essential for being able to cope with these troubling times.
When we are discouraged, gratitude has the ability to energize us. When we feel most vulnerable, gratitude has the ability to soothe our anxieties. When we feel helpless, gratitude has the ability to bring us hope.
Unfortunately, gratitude does not come easily when we’re facing challenging circumstances. No one is grateful for getting sick, or seeing others suffer from ill health. Nor do we feel grateful when we’ve lost a job, or worse, a loved one.
When we’re down we cannot simply will ourselves to feel grateful. There’s an important difference between feeling grateful and being grateful. Feelings are driven by our thoughts about what’s actually going on in our life compared to how we think life should be treating us.
When the distance between how things are versus how we wish they were presents too big a gap, we become unhappy. When I think about staying home every weekend for a year and not being able to go out to see family or friends, I feel unhappy. Gratitude is inaccessible.
However, I can remind myself that practicing gratitude is a choice. Then I’m able to tap into my underlying belief that there’s always some aspect of life that’s good no matter what’s temporarily troubling me. Having an attitude of gratitude comes from developing the perspective that life’s a glass half empty and half full.
That belief enables me to take a step back in order to see that good is also present. My family and friends are safe and I can still derive a great deal of pleasure from connecting virtually.
I still miss being able to hug the people in my life. But that helps me appreciate all the benefits my relationships bestow even more. Because the act of being affectionate has been taken away, I will never again take hugs for granted.
Gratitude also helps us deal with stress when we recall having survived other difficult times. Here’s how it works. Think of a bad time in your life.
Remember your sadness over a loss, a trauma, or a bad relationship. Look at how you were able to go on to create a good life. Having survived the worst times in your life has taught you how to be resilient.
How does it feel to compare how you felt while enduring past struggles with appreciating what pleases you in the present? Does it help you realize that your pandemic experience isn’t as bad as it could be? You can enhance your gratitude by contrasting your darkest days with what currently lights up your life.
Using gratitude to handle your current stress doesn’t mean that you will be able to ignore any pain and suffering you may be struggling with now. Looking at life through the lens of gratitude is not going to eliminate the frustration, sadness, and disappointments brought about by the COVID crisis. What gratitude does is keep you from being overwhelmed by the bad experiences.
Remembering the good that followed the bad generates hope. But looking for what good can come from making it through your present problems is a necessary second step. Imagining possible positive outcomes will clarify what you’ll do differently when you’re free to live your life as you choose.
Knowing what you will be grateful for in the future transforms hope into commitment. Multiple studies have shown that looking for the potential positive aspects of an unpleasant experience lessens the immediate emotional impact. Seeing what you’ll be grateful for in the future turns troubling emotions into energy for improving your life.
If you are struggling to cope with the changes to your life that the pandemic has wrought, ask yourself these questions:
■ What strengths have I developed from making it through past problems?
■ How have those strengths made me a better person now?
■ How can I use those strengths to help myself overcome my current challenges?
■ What are the good parts of my life I’m grateful for right now?
■ What do I need to do to show my gratitude for what’s good in my life?
■ What do I hope to be grateful for in the future?
■ What steps do I need to take to achieve that positive outcome?
■ What’s the first step?