ASK AMY Elaborate birthday bash disappoints host
Midcentury cookware is fab again, for the nostalgia and the profits
Dear Readers: Every year during this time I step away from my column to work on other creative projects. I hope you enjoy these (edited) “Best Of ” Q&As from 10 years ago. Today’s topic is: birthday bashes.
I’ll be back with fresh columns in two weeks.
Dear Amy: We just celebrated my daughter’s first birthday with a wonderful party at a catering hall. We had live entertainment, food, an open bar for the adults, flowers, balloons, favors, you name it!
I spent months planning for this party to make it a perfect event. This is my third child, and every party has been a big event like this one.
My problem is rude guests. I had more than half of the party (20 families) respond several days past the RSVP date. They showed up one to two hours late with no apology, and some left early.
These guests took it upon themselves to sit wherever they wanted, even when I had place cards with assigned seating. As much as I love to throw parties for my children, in the end, I feel disappointed, insulted and used.
Should I stop having these parties, or should I continue doing what my children and I enjoy and ignore the rudeness?
— Frustrated Mother
Dear Frustrated: It’s somewhat refreshing to learn that even in this tough economy there are still people who throw cotillions for 1-year-olds.
You need a reality check. You also need a reality show. If you had your own show, your guests’ rudeness — and your reaction — would be highlighted for the amusement of the rest of us.
Every time you host one of these extravaganzas you emerge with the same frustrations, so you should do an objective postmortem to figure out what you could do differently in order to have a different result.
I suggest that you adjust your expectations somewhat regarding timely RSVPs, consider doing away with your seating chart, and adjust the length of your event. Your only other option is to get different guests.
Dear Amy: It all started last year when a male co-worker had a birthday.
I decided to give him a gift. I wrapped it and surprised him with it. I was on my break, talking to my husband, when my friend walked in and waved a “thank you,” but later he asked me, “What’s the catch? Is it a re-gift? I want to see the receipt.”
I told him he was hurting my feelings and demanded the “gift” back. He refused to give it back and nonchalantly apologized for what he had said.
I went into his lunchbox without his knowledge and took the gift back.
The next day I got him a chocolate cake to make up for what I had done. I went to give it to him, and he rudely told me to leave.
You bet I took the cake! I ate it, too! It’s been a year since this happened, and we haven’t spoken since. What do you think?
— Curious Co-worker
Dear Co-worker:
People sometimes compare the workplace to high school. In your case, it’s more like kindergarten. You are not a grown-up. You are a thief. Consider yourself lucky your co-worker didn’t notify management (or security) when you went into his lunchbox.
You can assume he was embarrassed by your generosity when he made wisecracks about the gift you gave him. His behavior was rude. Your behavior afterward defies explanation.
Dear Amy: Every December, my son gets invited to his friend “Brian’s” birthday party. We always get him a gift that we know he will like.
I recently said to his mother that he must get a lot of presents in December with his birthday and Christmas so close together. She told me, “Oh, I have him choose half of his birthday presents to give to Toys for Tots. He only gets to keep half.”
I feel that not only am I funding her charitable donations, but also her parenting.
— Scrooged
Dear Scrooged: While it is possible that any gift you give any child could ultimately end up anywhere, this mother’s admission that they always give half of these gifts away was insensitive. The way she has arranged her charitable gesture is disingenuous and not fair to the young guests.
Copyright 2021 by Amy Dickinson
If you want to freshen up your kitchen, look no further than Grandma’s old casserole dishes.
Vintage kitchenware is back in style — pieces from the mid-20th century painted with flowers, bright colors and specific functions, such as bracketed chip and dip bowls or four-piece refrigerator storage sets.
“I’ve always been an old soul and loved anything old,” said Megan Telfer, a collector of vintage dishes, salt and pepper shakers, cookie jars and “a little bit of everything.” The 26-year-old parole officer from the Dallas area said her hobby started with family.
Her grandmother gave her mother a green and white Pyrex “Spring Blossom” mixing bowl. “That’s when my interest was piqued,” Telfer said.
Three years later, she has more than 300 pieces of vintage Pyrex, displayed on three large bookcases. Her 5-year-old daughter has some vintage Pyrex, too.
“We don’t use 90% of it,” Telfer said. “I display it.”
Some collectors buy vintage dishware to try to resell it at a profit, while others are in it for nostalgia.
“It reminds them of their mothers, aunts, grandmothers,” said Hope Chudy, owner of Downstairs at Felton Antiques in Waltham, Massachusetts.
A year of pandemic lockdowns has led to a surge in home cooking and time spent hanging out in the kitchen. Vintage cookware fits right into that homey, old-fashioned vibe.
There are lustrous chili bowls with handles, and casserole dishes set on top of brass candle warmers. These are durable dishes, often smaller than modern serving pieces, that can go from freezer to oven to table. But collectors usually acquire them for enjoyment, not utility.
“It really sets your kitchen apart from others,” said Victoria Aude, an interior designer in Canton, Massachusetts. “It’s not an item you can just buy off the shelf at Bloomingdale’s.”
The old dishes are also nice accents when decorating a room, said Atlantabased interior designer Beth Halpern Brown. “They can add that quick pop of color,” she said. “You can decorate a wall with them, or put one on display and change the space.”
Corning first released a Pyrex dish in 1915. By the 1930s, Anchor Hocking Glass Corp. released its competitor brand FireKing. But it’s the kitchenware made between 1950 and 1980 that seem to be most popular right now.
Jo Adinolfi, a 62-yearold nurse from Shelton, Connecticut, collects Pyrex mixing bowls and stackable refrigerator sets, what collectors affectionately call “fridgies.” She started collecting and selling about 10 years ago and owns more than 2,000 pieces.
The mid-20th century glass bowls and casserole dishes from brands like Fire-King and Pyrex haven’t changed, but their prices have.
“The more people that collect, the higher the demand is, the more people are trying to source the right goods to be able to feed that request,”
The Capital
“It really sets your kitchen apart from others. It’s not an item you can just buy off the shelf at Bloomingdale’s.”
— interior designer Victoria Aude
said Stan Savellis, 42, of Sydney, Australia, who has collected vintage kitchenware since his teenage years and runs the online store That Retro Piece.
Television and social media have also generated interest. Series like “WandaVision,” “Firefly Lane,” “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and “Mad Men“all highlight midcentury kitchens and kitchenware.
And then there’s social media, too, said Vicki Matranga, the design programs coordinator for the International Housewares Association and author of the book “America at Home: A Celebration of Twentieth-Century Housewares.”
“With everyone at home now, you can look at collections on Facebook or Instagram,” she said.
In pre-pandemic days, vintage collectors would meet up at swaps. Now, people are buying and selling on eBay, Etsy, Facebook and other websites.
The rarest pieces have sold for thousands of dollars, such as the 1959 “Lucky in Love” covered casserole dish that Goodwill sold for $5,994 in 2017.
Still, some enthusiasts simply like the vintage look and sentimentality.
“It goes with my house,” said Ashley Linder, 37, of Lake Jackson, Texas.
Linder’s vintage collection includes can openers from the 1950s, and they still work. “Fortunately, I have the space to display most of it, though some are seasonal use,” she said.
One of her most treasured finds was a Pyrex “Pink Daisy 045” casserole dish on eBay. It was in great condition, still in the box.
“You don’t come across a lot of pink pieces in the box,” she said.
She paid $300 for it and messaged the seller in hopes of finding out how it was so well preserved. “The lady had bought an old farmhouse in Nebraska, and it was left there,” she said. “It’s an investment.”