What to do if someone with dementia wanders
Dear Mary,
We recently brought my Dad to live with us (my husband and I and two teen sons). Dad has dementia and since the move, he seems to have rapidly declined. The most troublesome behavior is his wandering and his constant attempt to leave the house. Twice, already, he has gotten out but fortunately we noticed quickly, and he was just a block away before we caught up with him. I am really worried about his safety.
Dear Reader,
It is not unusual to see a cognitive decline in someone who has dementia when they have moved from a familiar to an unfamiliar environment. Wandering, in itself, is not a troubling behavior; however, when someone with dementia leaves the home unescorted it can be dangerous for them and frightening for their caregiver. If your dad was able to take a walk through his old neighborhood or visit a friend who lived nearby, he may not understand why nothing looks familiar when he goes out your front door and may keep walking looking for that familiarity.
There are a few things you can try in your home to keep him from exiting. Put a dark color mat in front of the front and back doors; for many folks with dementia, that mat looks like a deep hole, and they will not step on it. Move the deadbolt to the top of the door where he probably will not see it (and keep it locked). You can also try camouflaging the doors, painting, or wallpapering them the same color as the walls.
Look into the technology that is currently available to help keep an extra set of eyes on your dad. Tracking devices can be worn on wristbands and even in the soles of his shoes so that if he does leave the house, you can quickly find him. Invest in a medical alert bracelet; it will be helpful to emergency response staff who might be the ones to find him, especially if he is unable to give them information such as his name and where he lives.
Explain the situation to your neighbors and ask them to let you know if they see your dad wandering; it is possible that they may feel comfortable enough to walk him back home.
Pay attention to the clues your dad might give before he starts his treks. Is there a particular time of day he becomes agitated? Is it around the time he left for work? Met with his friends? Went to the Senior Center? If his wandering time seems to follow a pattern, try to get him involved in an activity before the behavior starts. If you see him at the door, redirect him by asking for help with something you are doing or, if possible, take a walk with him. Exercise lessens anxiety in someone with dementia and relieves boredom so walking with your dad is a win-win for both of you, since you need to exercise too! Enlist your teenage sons to take daily walks with their grandfather; they might learn some interesting family history during their travels and will have some fond memories after your dad is gone.
Dear Readers,
I recently read an article titled “Embracing Alzheimer’s Disease” by Elaine Magary, MSW, LISW. Ms. Magary writes that accepting the situation caused by Alzheimer’s allows caregivers to thrive. What does embracing the situation when caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease actually mean? In short, it means we develop empathy for our family member, recognize that their behaviors are normal for individuals with dementia, and we “stop trying to fix every symptom.” And it means “we take time to enjoy and value the person as they are now.”
I suggest you take a few moments to read Ms. Magary’s article. You can find it at www.caregiver.com/articles; search for Embracing Alzheimer’s Disease.