Mother’s Day: Missing that smile
Mother’s Day should never be routine, but despite our best intentions, it happens.
If you’re fortunate enough to live in the same zip code, you visit Mom. You go to church with her, take her out to eat, buy her something that looks nice or smells good.
If you live out of town, you order a corsage, or you send flowers. Since my mom was always nearby, the routine was church, lunch, and a white corsage. I used the same florist every year. Yes, it was a routine, but one that both of us enjoyed
Now, six years after my mother died at the age of 90, I miss that routine. I hear the reminders: “Don’t forget to call your Mom!” I feel a little like Bear Bryant did in those old Southern Bell commercials. He’d solemnly look into the camera and ask, “Have you called your Mama today? I sure wish I could.”
Since my mother gave birth to me at the age of 36, and lived to be 90, I was fortunate to have her for such a long time. I have friends who lost their mother at an early age, and I always felt sad for them when they would see those cheery Mother’s Day commercials.
On this Mother’s Day, I’m remembering two stories about Virginia Ruth Norris Carroll, or as my dad called her, “Ruthie.” One is kind of funny, the other one still makes me sad. Let’s do funny first.
During my Chattanooga radio days in the late 70s, I had just broken up with a girl, or maybe she had broken up with me. Either way, I was feeling down. Like many “newly single” guys, I started over. I grew a beard. Mom didn’t like it. She missed my baby face, she said. For the next 14 years, she would frequently remind me how much she disliked the beard. “When are you going to shave that beard?” she would say. But I kept it, even into my TV news career. The beard was part of me, and my wife and kids had never seen me without it.
One day in 1993, I looked in the mirror, got out the razor, and shaved the beard. I thought, “I’m gonna make Mom happy. When I go out to see her on Sunday, she will be thrilled.” You can probably guess what happened next. Mom took one look at my clean-shaven face, scrunched her nose and said, “You need to grow that beard back.” Ah, mothers.
Now the sad one. I like to think I’m a decent guy, but every now and then, I fail at basic human behavior.
Mom was a Depression baby who grew up cherishing every bit of food she owned. (Those of us who came later had no idea: food was in the stores, it was in our pantries, and it was plentiful.) Mom was reluctant to toss anything out of the refrigerator. One evening the smart-aleck jokester in me came out. One by one, I would take a jar or box out of the refrigerator and make some wisecrack about the expiration date. “This one goes back to the Eisenhower administration.”
community outreach
at health fairs and other events in Chattooga, Dade, Catoosa, Gordon, Murray, Walker, Whitfield counties. Training will be provided. For more information, call 706-728-3408 or visit redcross.org/nwga.
COMMUNITY· The
Catoosa County public library,
108 Catoosa Circle, in Ringgold,
hosts a bead crafting group
on Mondays at 10:30 a.m. Some supplies will be available for practicing your beading. At 3 p.m. it
hosts a library knitting and crochet group.
No supplies provided by library. Staff will be present to help beginners for “There’s something growing in this one.” And other kneeslapping insults. Anything for a laugh, right?
Then I noticed a tear on my mother’s face. Her only son was making jokes at her expense. As soon as I realized what I had done, I felt very small. I had made her cry. I offered an awkward apology. “I was just trying to be funny, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
She got over my socalled comedy. But I never quite recovered. It still resides in my memory like a fungus. She never knew it, but I spent the rest of her life trying to make that up to her. Long after Alzheimer’s robbed her of her memory, I felt like I owed her so much. I could never do enough to make it right, but I gave it my best shot.
My sisters and I were fortunate during
both events. For more information, call 706965-3600.
COMMUNITY· The
Catoosa County public library,
108 Catoosa Circle, in Ringgold, has a kids crafts Tuesdays at 4 p.m. and a teen program with a variety of events at 4:30 p.m. The first Tuesday is game Mom’s ten-year journey with Alzheimer’s. She was pleasant during her twilight years, just as she had been in her prime. My dad was an excellent caretaker until he suddenly became ill, and died in 2005. As a new chapter in our lives began, I looked forward to my Sunday visits with her, taking her to church, going out to eat or just sitting at home watching the Braves. Later, my visits to her nursing home (Dade Health and Rehab) were just as pleasant. She always smiled as I entered her room. I’ve never seen another smile like it. I know I will never see as sweet a smile again.
David Carroll, a Chattanooga news anchor, can be reached at 3dc@ epbfi.com, and you can order his new book “Volunteer Bama Dawg” at David Carroll Book, PO Box 15185, Chattanooga, TN 37415. The price is $23 including shipping.
night, the teen advisory group meeting, crafting, movie
is
Tuesday is fourth Tuesday is
and when there are fifth Tuesdays, each month will host a special event. For more information, call 706965-3600.
night
second Tuesday third