Dad’s gift doesn’t impress recipient
DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad bought me a fake designer purse for my birthday. It was similar to a purse that I had wanted for a very long time, and I could tell that he was so proud that he was able to get it for me. However, I knew it was fake almost immediately. He’s always asking why I never use it, and I just don’t have the heart to tell him that I can’t be seen with this purse. I even considered lying and saying that it was stolen. What do I do? — Faux Bag
DEAR FAUX BAG: Your dad did the best he could with the resources that he has. I totally understand your objection to a fake version of the designer bag, but I hope you can see his perspective, too. He tried to make you happy. What you can do is wear the bag when you are with him. You can hang it back in your closet the rest of the time.
We are obsessed with labels in this country. As someone who grew up in the fashion industry, I understand the undue pressure that exists to have the right accessory and to be on trend. Sadly, this obsession we have with stuff, especially expensive designer stuff, can be to the detriment of relationships and bank accounts.
Show your father some gratitude and wear the bag proudly around him.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think it’s time for me to take a little vacation by myself. I am in a relationship, but I really need my alone time. I’ve been considering this for a while, and I know that I want to go overseas. I plan on being gone for at least a week. How do I tell my partner that I would like to go on a vacation alone without seeming sketchy? We live together, so taking a vacation together wouldn’t be super ideal for me. I don’t want them thinking that I’m going away to go cheat on them or anything. — Lone Traveler
DEAR LONE TRAVELER: Be upfront with your partner. The more open and honest you are, the easier it will be to accept your plan. Explain that you are a person who needs alone time. You have long wanted to take a trip by yourself. Now that things are opening up again, you want to plan a personal getaway. Make it clear that this has nothing to do with your relationship, that it’s about you and your need to be by yourself.
If you are asked about the implications of this solo travel on your relationship, be clear about what it means for you — and what it does not. If it’s true, make the point that cheating isn’t even a thought. Instead, you need to be able to explore, clear your head and just be. You believe this will help you to be more fully present in your life and in your relationship when you return.
Be prepared to talk about it until your partner gets comfortable. Know that this is not so unusual. People figure out all kinds of ways to live their lives. There is no one way.