Young adults guide at-risk kids 10 to 14
DELAWARE — Six months ago, when Lauren Kocsis agreed to mentor a 14-yearold, she worried that she’d have to conceal her flaws and be the perfect listener.
The 19-year-old was adjusting to life as a freshman at Ohio Wesleyan University, where she lives off-campus with five housemates.
“At first, I was like, I have to be a good role model, I have to be on my best behavior,” Kocsis said. “I should let her open up to me. I don’t need to tell her stuff.”
But after meeting weekly with Olivia DeLauder, who is five years younger, she said she is learning as much as she might be helping.
“It’s more like a mutual trust,” said Kocsis, who is part of TEAM Mentoring, a program run by Delaware County Juvenile Court that pairs college students with at-risk youths ages 10 to 14. “We’re more like friends. It’s definitely not what I expected.”
TEAM, or Together Everyone Achieves More, is in its 18th year and aims to help youths who are struggling with family issues, drugs or just growing up, said Patty Cram, the program’s coordinator. Teens often find it easier to share their struggles with peers than with parents or teachers, she said. About 20 Ohio Wesleyan students participate, most of them women.
“College students can let them know how they got to be college students — not by goofing off and getting in trouble.”
The court is fortunate to be in a college town, said Judge David Hejmanowski. Volunteers are “old enough to give them good direction, but close enough in age to them to form a meaningful mentoring relationship.”
Olivia, a student at Dempsey Middle School, lived with her mom, five brothers and a sister for her first 13 years.
A year ago, she moved into her dad’s one-bedroom apartment, where both the living arrangements and finances are tight.
The arrangement sometimes can be stressful, as when when her father learned this year of Olivia’s boyfriend — who was five years older than her. An argument escalated, her father called the police, and she spent a night in juvenile detention.
“I kind of look up to her (Kocsis) as a person to go to and talk to,” Olivia said.
Kocsis, of Marysville, has a younger sister and lives in what she calls a model family with no financial worries.
Cram has three rules for participants: “no smoking, you’ve got to behave yourself and there will be no alcohol of any kind, anywhere.”
Mentors undergo criminalbackground checks and are subject to drug screenings.
And the youths participate voluntarily.
“If you (court) order it, that means they’re not going to want to do it and they’re going to act up,” said Cram.
Hejmanowski praises early intervention, “to prevent (kids) from ever becoming involved in a formal court proceeding,” he wrote in an email. “The court’s ultimate goal is to help produce productive adults.”
The TEAM program is funded with about $47,000 a year through the DelawareMorrow Mental Health & Recovery Services Board and the Delaware County Board of Commissioners.
Although the program typically lasts about a year, both Kocsis and Olivia want to stay in touch.
“I definitely want to see her into high school comfortably,” said Kocsis.