Patient- dentist relationship prohibited by code of ethics
A year ago, I lost a tooth. I’m a 56-year-old woman short on funds, so I visited my hospital’s dental clinic.
The work I needed was performed by a dental resident over four months. What I did not count on was becoming attracted to a 29-year-old resident. I’ll call “Justin.”
I was a teacher and I know all the “rules.” In fairness, in no way did Justin or I do or say anything inappropriate. Still, certain circumstances led me to believe that he felt the same about me.
The work has been over for months, but I can’t get him out of my mind. I don’t know how to handle this.
The “rules” you referred to are a code of ethics that professionals are expected to adhere to. Consider that if Justin were to act on the feelings you think he shared with you, he could lose his job. If you care about him, you will not pursue this further.
My husband and I were close with a couple for about eight years. We moved away, but continued to see each other. When visiting six months ago, they mentioned that they had no friends.
Her husband died suddenly of a stroke five months ago. They were together for 50 years. I sent her a formal sympathy note and three more casual follow-ups. I also wrote a poem in his memory.
I remember how bereft she felt when her sister died, and she felt that sympathy was not sufficiently extended (I don’t think she was pointing the finger at me).
I don’t want her to think that we aren’t feeling a lot of sympathy for her. Yet her silence indicates that either our overtures are unwanted or that she’s emotionally overwhelmed. When does an old friend stop reaching out?
Call the woman and ask her how she’s doing. Explain that, because you haven’t heard from her, you have been concerned.
You are a caring friend, but there is only so much anyone can do via long distance. It’s possible that, because her husband’s death was unexpected, she has had her hands full learning how to take care of the details that he managed while he was alive.
If she’s not doing well, suggest she join a support group so she won’t be isolated in her grief. And recognize that, as much as you wish to support her, she will have to forge her own way through her heartache.
— Unexpected in New York Dear Unexpected: — Bewildered