Boyfriend’s relationship with his mother is troubling
Dear Abby: I'm starting to worry about my boyfriend's relationship with his mother. He's deploying at the end of the month. He's 31 and lives with his parents. We had just gotten a place together prior to finding out about his deployment.
The problem is, his mother comes over constantly, and she waits on him hand and foot. If he's hungry, she rushes to fix his food and brings him lunch while he's working. She makes all of his doctors' appointments for him and is on his bank account.
I hardly see him alone anymore because he's constantly with her. At the beginning of his deployment, he will be in Texas for a month. During that time he will get a week off. He told his mom the dates of his time off prior to telling me, and she booked a flight for the entire time! I will have no alone time with him.
I love him very much, but this whole mom thing has got me second-guessing everything. Abby, is this normal?
Second
Dear Coming in Second: No, it's not normal. I hope you realize that if you should marry him at some point, you will be getting a husband who never learned independence, and you will be expected to take up exactly where his mother left off.
Dear Abby: I have lived with my girlfriend for three years now. She works; I'm retired. She's 52; I'm 62. We get along well.
My problem is, she insists on having her 10-year-old grandson stay over every other weekend and holidays. It is a 70-mile round trip to pick him up. This means that half our weekends are consumed with baby-sitting him.
He's a good kid; I just feel that 26 weekends out of the year is extreme. Her ex — the grandfather — gets the boy for a more reasonable amount of the time — maybe six times a year. Your thoughts? Miffed in the Midwest
Dear Miffed: She may want to see as much of her grandson as she can because she knows that in another few years he won't be as available to her as he has been. (How many teenage boys want to spend time with their grandmother instead of with their friends?)
While I don't blame you for wanting more child-free weekends and holidays, if she isn't willing to compromise, perhaps it's time to rethink your living arrangement.