‘Divorced’ or ‘single’? Status a case of person’s preference
When does a person stop being “divorced” and start being “single”?
Divorced people are, by definition, also single, as no remarried lady since Hamlet’s mother invented the paperless divorce has wondered whether she is “married” or still “divorced.”
Decades after people fought to reduce the nosiness of motorvehicle departments, employers and bores, their descendants are only too eager to label themselves with alarming specificity to anyone who will listen.
Miss Manners attributes this to social-media platforms that began, innocently enough, with the idea that one’s “status” should be as granular as “available,” “busy,” “away,” “at lunch” and so on — when she would have thought that “listening” and “not” covered all relevant possibilities.
Modern sensitivities notwithstanding, Miss Manners is willing to leave the choice between “divorced” and “single” to the individual, as long as formerly married persons can agree not to use the latter until the former has been legalized.
I had a destination wedding in November. We received various gifts from people who were invited (some who came, and some who did not) and promptly sent thankyou notes for those.
Recently, my in-laws threw us a “congratulations on your wedding” party with family and friends from the area, some of whom had given us wedding gifts.
Should I send thankyous to everyone who attended the party, even those who didn’t bring a gift because they sent us one for the wedding?
The novelty of being able to tell a bride that she should write fewer letters of thanks has Miss Manners feeling giddy.
She is as sick of nagging derelict brides as are their mothers.
(Don’t bother alerting her that she should have written “brides and bridegrooms, as are their parents.” Bridegrooms do share the responsibility, but, unfortunately, such involvement still seems to be rare, and fathers’ participation is practically unheard of, perhaps because the unthanked tend to blame the mother.)
Hosts do not need to thank their guests; a cheery “We’re delighted that you came” at the door is quite sufficient. And because many people know this, letters of thanks for attendance tend to be unpleasantly interpreted as meaning that something more was expected.
Four of us friends have decided to play bridge together. We are meeting soon at one of the ladies’ home for our first get-together. She will provide refreshments and would like to rotate homes/refreshments. We agree on this.
Two of us don’t really know how to play, but the others plan to teach us. Because they are being so kind, should I take something as a thank-you?
If so, suggestions would be appreciated.
Fresh cards for when the ones being played begin to get sticky. Score pads when they run out. Trump markers. Apologies when you trump your partner’s ace.
Actually, Miss Manners is not requiring you to stick to the bridge necessities. The veteran players might, in fact, be well-supplied, and you are in a position (Miss Manners is not) to notice this — and, under such a circumstance, to guess at alternatives.
Mis Manners is only trying to steer you away from taking refreshments, which will make the others feel that they should do the same, and thus ruin the workable system of rotation that has been planned.