Minions can’t rescue disjointed, dull film
MOVIE REVIEW /
Back in 2010, Illumination Entertainment released the Minions into the world via the first “Despicable Me” film.
They were the supporting characters to reformed super-villain Gru (Steve Carell).
Regardless, the impudent little yellow creatures — their featureless bodies shaped like rubbery tater tots, chattering gibberish language somewhere between Italian and alien, with bawdy senses of humor — invaded the minds, hearts, homes and memes of moviegoers, and became a cultural phenomenon.
Yellow took on a new meaning.
Although the Minions now have their own film (of the same name), they still pull backup duty in the “Despicable Me” franchise.
And, yes, they are somewhat awkwardly shoehorned into “Despicable Me 3,” a serviceable stop on the inevitable way to “Despicable Me 4.”
For a couple of hours of children’s entertainment, parents could do worse.
But the film is nothing to write home about.
“Despicable Me 3” relies on pre-established audience
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familiarity with the characters and universe of the franchise — then just throws subplots on top of subplots on top of that.
Each story is so shallow that it feels like a series of shorts, with only the flimsiest of narrative threads stitching together the whole.
Two new characters are introduced in this third installment: Balthazar Bratt, voiced by Trey Parker, is the antagonist, a washed-up child actor from the 1980s turned super-villain, with a serious ax to grind against the industry that rejected him as a pimply, pubescent teenager.
He has a mullet, a keytar, a purple suit with shoulder pads, and one heck of a music-licensing budget (it’s packed with snippets of hits from Michael Jackson to Van Halen).
The other new character is a sidekick, Dru (also Steve Carell), Gru’s long-lost twin brother.
After losing their jobs, Gru, wife Lucy (Kristen Wiig) and their girls head to Fredonia to meet Dru, the head of the family pig-farming business, which is actually a front for super-villainy — except Dru is terrible at it.
While Gru shows him the ropes, the women-folk sample the local Fredonian culture and go unicorn hunting. Eventually, it all comes together as they have to unite to fight Balthazar, who is intent on destroying Hollywood with bubble gum and lasers.
The Minions, meanwhile, are unsatisfied with Gru’s domestic bliss. In a highly random subplot, they go to jail after they invade a singing competition.
It gives them something to do, and it gives the studio the opportunity for some seriously questionable marketing decisions — because nothing says family fun like jokes about America’s prison culture. That’s pretty despicable, in fact.
Parker’s ’80s-inspired super-villain is probably the most entertaining part of the film, aside from, perhaps, the Fredonian cheese festival.
Still, the movie is somehow less than the sum of its parts. The shrill, raspy-voiced shouting from Carell and Parker turn into a jumble of noise, so punch lines are difficult to pick out.
The movie might as well be written in Minions chatter. It’s wacky and dull — kind of like conversing with a Minion.