The Columbus Dispatch

Pregnancy kit prompts need for discussion of relationsh­ip

- About It — Surprised not JEANNE PHILLIPS — Not so Jolly in Arizona Write to Dear Abby at Universal Press Syndicate, in care of The Columbus Dispatch, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069; for a reply, enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or visit

I am a lesbian. My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months. We have an awesome relationsh­ip and are very happy and open with each other.

I know she has dated guys in the past — so have I — so I’m not worried about that nonsense at all. But I recently found something of hers that surprised me. It was a container of pregnancy tests, and one was missing with a Plan B pill alongside of it.

I’m tempted to bring it up, but I would honestly rather not discuss it at all. I just don’t want anything happening in the apartment. Would it be weird if I just threw the stuff out without telling her, or should I say something?

What if she wants to keep it? I don’t think that would be the case, but it would start a fight because, as a female couple, we obviously don’t need a pregnancy test. I could use some advice on how to handle this uncomforta­ble situation.

I’m glad you asked. Do “quietly” throw out those pregnancy tests or the medication. I don’t know what kind of arrangemen­t you have with your girlfriend, but if fidelity was part of the agreement, you should absolutely talk with her about what you found.

It does not have to degenerate into a fight, but it’s important that you know why she feels the need to be in an intimate relationsh­ip, regardless of gender, with someone else.

My husband and I have a wonderful life and much to be thankful for, but we have no children and are usually alone on Thanksgivi­ng and Christmas. Everyone makes such a fuss about sharing these holidays with loved ones, but I become depressed during this season.

I do volunteer work on these holidays, but still feel sad and like everyone else in the country is having a better time than I am. Any suggestion­s?

Every year around holiday time I receive letters from people such as yourself, expressing that rather than feeling joyful and elated, they feel depressed and deprived.

Some of it may be the result of the incessant marketing of these holidays, which gives the impression that “everyone” is having a grand old time sipping cider and caroling under the windows of their neighbors.

An antidote for your holiday blues might be to do more than volunteer. Why don’t you and your husband plan to do something special to treat yourselves, rather than stay home feeling like everyone else is enjoying themselves?

Choose a different destinatio­n each year to visit and learn about.

Or invite some friends or acquaintan­ces to join you at home.

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Dear Not so Jolly:

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